“He who does not trust enough, will never be trusted.” — Lao Tzu (~600 BC) Chinese Philosopher & father of Tao Te Ching
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What do you find challenging about ‘the Tao of trust’, lately?
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Why is it hard to trust again, and how can trusting help us feel like we belong?
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Trust in Me – Etta James (2:58)
Kung Fu – the TV series (2:17)
Tao Te Ching verse in Meditation (6:50)
Today’s SFZ examines Step Three, which invites us to let go of control and begin trusting a power greater than ourselves. Trust, however, doesn’t come easily for those who have been hurt. As Brené Brown notes, vulnerability is the birthplace of trust, yet vulnerability feels dangerous when trust has been broken. Step Three asks us to take that risk anyway. It encourages action over comfort, faith over fear.
The quote from It Works, How & Why shows this clearly. Trust isn’t a feeling we wait for; it’s something we do. Psychologist Erik Erikson called this the crisis of basic trust. In recovery, this crisis reappears. We learn to trust by acting, not waiting.
Lao Tzu reminds us that trust is reciprocal: when we withhold trust, others sense it. This echoes psychologist Carl Rogers, who believed people grow best in conditions of genuineness, acceptance, and empathy. Step Three fosters these conditions by helping us surrender to a healthier path.
The 12 & 12 quote speaks to the gifts of trust. When we stop resisting life, we begin to belong. This matches what Viktor Frankl, psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, taught: meaning arises when we transcend ourselves. Trusting the process allows that transcendence.
The Tao of Step Three means letting go of rigid control. Like water flowing around a rock, trust leads to strength through surrender. Only then do we stop trying to fit into places we were never meant to stay.
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