“Do not let any
prejudice you may
have against spiritual
terms deter you from hon
estly asking yourself
what they mean to
you.” (The Big
Book, p.47)
Sign up to get Zonr for Today’s Full SFZ
~~~
What prejudices, ‘evil practices’ or barriers to spiritual growth have you had to face, lately?
OR
Why is it important to keep an open heart, even when someone disagrees with us?
~~~
Children Separated From Parents -2018 (7:47)
Free Your Mind – En Vogue (4:14)
Open Mind Practical Tips (2:41)
Lakota Healing Meditation (5:26)
Today’s SFZ acknowledges that spiritual growth often begins with humility. Step 3 of the Twelve Steps,“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him”. It asks us to surrender pride and prejudice. This step becomes powerful when we apply it to how we treat others, especially those with whom we disagree.
Prejudice, as the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous reminds us, blinds us. It blocks clarity and isolates us from healing. When we allow bias to guide our thinking, we shut down our capacity to listen. Philosopher Søren Kierkegaard taught that true understanding begins with subjective honesty. We must ask ourselves what spiritual words and ideas really mean to us—not what we assume they mean to others.
Prejudice isn’t just social; it’s spiritual. When we reject others based on their beliefs, lifestyles, or views, we deny their humanity. Thomas Merton, the Trappist monk, wrote, “The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves.” When we prejudge, we ignore that sacred individuality.
The invitation in Step 3 is not only to trust a Higher Power. Rather, it is to remove ourselves as the judge of others. We choose to place our will in something greater, which helps us pause before condemning.
The passage from Overeaters Anonymous reveals another layer: the belief that our problems are too small for spiritual concern. This belief is itself a kind of prejudice against ourselves. We assume unworthiness. But wisdom traditions urge us to see ourselves as valuable, even in our struggles. Julian of Norwich, a 14th-century Christian mystic, wrote that God sees even a small soul as precious. When we accept that truth, we can offer the same compassion to others.
…
Compassion is most tested when we disagree. Brené Brown says vulnerability is the path to courage. Letting others disagree with us without closing off emotionally is not just vulnerable, but brave. That doesn’t mean we must agree with everyone. It means we listen with curiosity, not contempt.
Keeping a pure and open heart is difficult in the face of conflict. Yet, the words of Black Elk offer gentle wisdom: children’s hearts are pure because they are open. They listen without filters, they trust without judgment. Black Elk’s vision was not naïve; it was deeply spiritual. He believed that the Great Spirit reveals truth through openness. If we approach disagreements with childlike humility, we invite understanding rather than discord.
Martin Buber, the Jewish philosopher, spoke of “I-Thou” relationships, where we meet others with full presence. In contrast, “I-It” relationships treat others as objects or categories. Prejudice turns people into “Its.” Open-heartedness restores the sacred “Thou.” To disagree respectfully is to say: You are still a human being to me.
…
The Dalai Lama teaches that compassion toward those who challenge us is the highest form of practice. Agreeing with someone is easy. Remaining kind while disagreeing requires spiritual strength. Step 3 strengthens this muscle by inviting us to surrender control and judgment. As we trust a power greater than ourselves, we release the need to dominate a conversation or “win” a debate.
Howard Thurman, the spiritual adviser to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., said, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it.” What makes us come alive in Step 3 is the decision to turn over our judgments and self-righteousness. We come alive through surrender.
Letting go of judgment does not mean losing moral clarity. Mahatma Gandhi modeled this. He held firm beliefs but treated his adversaries with deep respect. He once said, “You may never know what results come of your actions. But if you do nothing, there will be no result.” Choosing to keep an open heart is an action. It is spiritual resistance against hate.
Choosing an open heart transforms disagreement into dialogue. Parker Palmer, educator and Quaker author, notes that tension in difference is creative, not destructive, if we face it with honesty and love. This requires spiritual maturity. And it begins with the small step of noticing our inner resistance, then softening it.
We should ask not just what we believe, but how we believe. Do we believe with grace? Do we allow others space to speak, even if we disagree?
Step 3 is not just a step of surrender; it is a call to courage, clarity, and compassion. It is a radical act to open our hearts when we want to shut them down.
Mobile Recovery, spiritual solutions you can count on!
Leave a Reply