Finding the Courage to Keep Catastrophic, Calamities from Cascading Out of Control – Step 4

A water color depiction of a person observing utter destruction w/ sfz title

From Michael C. – “Sometimes I listen but I do not hear, there’s always a message if I’m willing to be still and have an open ear.”

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What skills could you improve on to help you be a better listener?

OR

What happens when we stop listening to just ourselves and start hearing others too?

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SOMEBODY (Depeche Mode, 1984)

The Meaning of ACTIVE LISTENING 

A Guided Listening Meditation w/ Alan Watts

English Analysis

Many fear being vulnerable. Yet Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions warns that isolation distorts truth. When we isolate, our thoughts twist. Rationalizations take over. We convince ourselves of comfort, not clarity. William James, in The Varieties of Religious Experience, emphasized shared spiritual experiences. He believed personal faith gains power through community. We heal better with others.

Furthermore, It Works: How and Why describes an “ideal listener.” This person shows empathy, keeps our trust, and offers insight. Carl Rogers, the humanistic psychologist, called this “unconditional positive regard.” We grow when others hear us without judgment. Trust allows honesty. Honesty brings change.

Plutarch reminds us to “know how to listen.” Even poor speakers may offer wisdom. Ancient Stoics like Epictetus taught the same. Wisdom grows through disciplined listening. We gain not by speaking, but by hearing what matters. Listening becomes an act of courage.

Taken together, today’s SFZ urges us to step outside ourselves. When we connect, we expand our view. When we speak honestly, we quiet our fears. Step 4 asks us to examine our wrongs. But we must not do it alone. Alone, we excuse ourselves. With others, we face truth.

In recovery and life, courageous listening transforms pain into wisdom. Community builds clarity. Reflection grows best in honest dialogue. As Fred Rogers once said, “Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable.”


Spanish Translation Sections

Citas de SFZ – 3 Estrofas

NO NECESITAS SER
EL LONE RANGER –

“Ir solo
en asuntos espirituales
es peligroso.” “… lo que
nos llega en soledad puede estar
distorsionado por nuestras propias
racionalizaciones y pensamientos deseosos.
El beneficio de hablar con otra
persona es que podemos
recibir su comentario directo
y consejo sobre nuestra
situación.” (12 & 12,
p. 60)

UN OYENTE IDEAL –

“Hemos descubierto
que un oyente ideal
tendrá suficiente compasión
para honrar nuestros sentimientos,
suficiente integridad para respetar
nuestras confidencias y suficiente
visión para ayudarnos a mantener
la naturaleza exacta de
nuestros errores dentro de
nuestro campo de visión.”
(It Works, pp. 37 – 38)

“Saber
escuchar,
y sacarás provecho
incluso de aquellos
que hablan mal.”

— Plutarco (46 d.C. – 120 d.C.),
historiador y ensayista griego


Análisis Traducido al Español

Muchos temen ser vulnerables. Sin embargo, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions advierte que el aislamiento distorsiona la verdad. Cuando nos aislamos, nuestros pensamientos se tuercen. Las racionalizaciones toman el control. Nos convencemos de lo cómodo, no de lo verdadero. William James, en The Varieties of Religious Experience, decía que la fe personal gana fuerza en comunidad. Sanamos mejor con otros.

Además, It Works: How and Why describe a un “oyente ideal”. Esta persona muestra empatía, guarda confianza y ofrece visión. Carl Rogers, psicólogo humanista, llamaba esto “consideración positiva incondicional”. Crecemos cuando nos escuchan sin juicio. La confianza permite honestidad. La honestidad trae cambio.

Plutarco nos recuerda: “saber escuchar.” Incluso los que hablan mal pueden ofrecernos sabiduría. Los estoicos antiguos, como Epicteto, enseñaban lo mismo. La sabiduría crece cuando escuchamos con disciplina. No ganamos por hablar, sino por oír lo que importa. Escuchar se vuelve un acto de valentía.

Juntas, estas ideas nos empujan a salir de nosotros mismos. Al conectarnos, expandimos nuestra visión. Al hablar con honestidad, calmamos el miedo. El Paso 4 nos pide examinar nuestros errores. Pero no debemos hacerlo solos. Solos, nos excusamos. Con otros, enfrentamos la verdad.

En la recuperación y en la vida, el escuchar con valor transforma el dolor en sabiduría. La comunidad nos da claridad. La reflexión crece en el diálogo honesto.


Pregunta Final Traducida

¿Qué pasa cuando dejamos de escucharnos solo a nosotros mismos y empezamos a oír también a los demás?

Zonr pod on how to listen

Comments

6 responses to “Finding the Courage to Keep Catastrophic, Calamities from Cascading Out of Control – Step 4”

  1. Elexi W.S.A. Avatar

    Even though I can’t hear on and off – even there I could still observe or listen through sign language though, but I do like listenin’ to good advice that can greatly change my perspective or objective on some things. To even learn somethin’ new, listenin’ is a very important tool. When I listen to others although also usin’ my own mind too, I learn new principles or anything new also.

  2. Eli🌱🫶🏾🫡🪱 Avatar
    Eli🌱🫶🏾🫡🪱

    Listening without thinking about how I’ll respond. It often leaves me without a response at all. But I’ve found I don’t really need one. It’s okay not to know what to say.

  3. E-Dawg Avatar
    E-Dawg

    When I fully concentrate on what someone is saying, understanding their message comes easy and promotes personal growth. That can really make someone’s day when you pay full attention to them while they’re speaking showing interest in what they have to say is respect.

  4. Thy will not mine be done Avatar
    Thy will not mine be done

    Sometimes I listen but I do not hear, there’s always a message if I’m willing to be still and have an open ear. Sometimes just being still and knowing that the Universe is for me and not against me, it’s okay to make mistakes, not taking anything personally and taking deep breaths, not believing everything I hear especially when it’s about other people..

  5. Tony O. Avatar
    Tony O.

    Misunderstanding happens. You first have to maintain peace within yourself so that you may give it to others. Sometimes this is the hardest part.

  6. Simon Yebio Avatar
    Simon Yebio

    Body language is what I am aware of. I keep my hands open and my eyes focused

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