How to Tell When Being Right is Just Plain Wrong – Step 5

Cartoon stick person displaying an angel in one hand and a devil in the other

From Jon G. – “I have been very judgmental of others lately. It has not served me well lately because it has enabled me to leave several meetings early. I sit and listen to a speaker and before long I judge …”

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How have your judgments of others or the feeling of being judged adversely affected you, lately?

OR

What helps you feel better: judging someone else, or trying to fix what you can about yourself?

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The Judgement is the Mirror – Dalis Car (4:36)

Funny Lessons in Judging Too Quickly (0:31) 

Slowing the Mind & Ending Judgement Meditation (8:03)

📚 Analytical Reflection:

Today’s SFZ advances humility, self-reflection, and emotional maturity over harsh judgment. They echo Marcus Aurelius’ wisdom from Meditations, where he stresses: “You have power over your mind, not outside events.” Like the Stoic emperor, these texts ask us to focus on cleaning our own lives instead of blaming others.

The Basic Text and 12 & 12 both suggest that judgment creates false superiority. Whitman’s poetic vision reinforces this gentleness. He doesn’t deny faults, but observes them with light, not shame. The sun in his verse doesn’t burn; it illuminates.

Philosopher Martin Buber also helps us understand this. In I and Thou, Buber explains how true relationships require presence, not projection. When we judge others, we treat them as objects. When we view them with empathy, we meet them as equals.

Furthermore, bell hooks, in All About Love, explains that care requires responsibility and respect, not control. To love well, we must own our flaws. These writings agree: our healing starts within, not in changing others.

When we stop exaggerating defects, we begin to see others, and ourselves, more clearly. This clarity invites peace, not punishment. It’s not weakness to let go of judgment; it’s wisdom.



🇪🇸 Spanish Translations


🌟 Citas Originales:

Cómo Saber Cuándo Tener Razón Está Simplemente Mal – Paso 5

LIMPIANDO NUESTRO PROPIO LADO DE LA CALLE
“No nos hará
mejores personas
juzgar las fallas de
otro. Nos hará sentir
mejor limpiar
nuestras propias vidas… .”
(El Texto Básico, p. 37)

MEJOR TOMAR EL CARRIL DEL MEDIO
“… evitar juicios
extremos, tanto sobre
nosotros mismos como sobre
los demás involucrados. No debemos exa-
gerar nuestros defectos ni los de ellos.
Una vista tranquila y objetiva
será nuestro firme
objetivo.”
(12 y 12, p. 82)

El poeta
no juzga como
juzga un juez, sino
como el sol que cae
alrededor de una cosa
indefensa.
Walt Whitman (1819–1892)


📖 Análisis:

Estos pasajes promueven la humildad, la reflexión y la madurez emocional en lugar del juicio severo. Marco Aurelio, en Meditaciones, también enseña que tenemos poder sobre nuestra mente, no sobre los eventos externos. Estos textos coinciden con él: debemos enfocarnos en nosotros mismos, no en culpar a otros.

El Texto Básico y 12 y 12 dicen que juzgar crea una falsa superioridad. Whitman ofrece una visión más amable. El sol en su poema no quema; alumbra.

El filósofo Martin Buber, en Yo y Tú, explica que las verdaderas relaciones se basan en la empatía, no en la crítica. Cuando juzgamos, tratamos a las personas como cosas. Cuando observamos con compasión, las vemos como iguales.

La escritora bell hooks, en Todo Sobre el Amor, enseña que el cuidado requiere responsabilidad, no control. Para amar bien, debemos aceptar nuestros errores.

Estas obras nos recuerdan que el cambio comienza por dentro. Cuando dejamos de exagerar defectos, encontramos paz y claridad.


Pregunta Final (nivel de sexto grado):

¿Qué te hace sentir mejor: juzgar a otros o mejorar lo que puedes en ti mismo?

Zonr pod on being right

Comments

9 responses to “How to Tell When Being Right is Just Plain Wrong – Step 5”

  1. Sabrina J Avatar
    Sabrina J

    When I work on myself, stay out of judgement take consistent steps toward my best self, everything about me improves. I have, nor do I seek, any control over others, however I am completely responsible for and seek to improve myself and that is a life long journey.

    Thank you for sharing recovery with me. Grateful.

  2. E-Dawg Avatar
    E-Dawg

    I don’t judge anyone Lest I be judged…I always try to find something good in a person, then tell them ..it’s important to uplift people instead of judging them…

  3. Ari L Avatar
    Ari L

    I try to be accepting as I can be, but definately have a side of me that is quietly making judgements of people in superficial and meaningful ways faster than I can make sense of them like a sort of dull, humming glossolalia. I think what matters when in that habit, if change is desired, is responding to them instead of reacting to them. And, at least recognizing they are happening instead of pretending like they don’t happen.

  4. Damonte Avatar
    Damonte

    My judgement of others has effected me negatively throughout my life. I have sold myself short on friendships, dates, and any other type of relationships due to judgment on others. Due to proper programming i don’t have to judge anyone anymore and that relief and work of self love is most appreciated. If I love myself then i don’t have to give anything but love to others. The inside job that comes from the work of the steps helps keep me in a place of sanity and love for others and gratefulness, im taught to also keep my side of the street clean and not have to pass any judgement on anyone else. This is a daily reprieve.

  5. Tony O. Avatar
    Tony O.

    “Heretic” the earth is flat. Sometimes being right can get you killed. Sometimes its easier to catch flies with honey.

  6. Simon Yebio Avatar
    Simon Yebio

    When I feel a collage is focused on Me, I have overly judged they’re side. Great read this morning.

  7. Bohdi Baba Avatar

    I’m trying to learn Walt Whitman’s lesson. Because sometimes I am right. But I can come off as being judgemental when trying to make my point. I don’t think I come off as being a know-it-all all the time, but when making my case I could, try and spread … warm, gentle rays of sunlight on the situation.

  8. Jon G. Avatar
    Jon G.

    I have been very judgmental of others lately. It has not served me well lately because it has enabled me to leave several meetings early. I sit and listen to a speaker and before long I judge that they are not sharing about recovery or don’t have anything to say that is worthwhile to sit and listen to. Once I slip into this frame of mind it is only a matter of time before I convince myself that I don’t need to stay til the end of the meeting or that my time would be better spent somewhere else rather than staying and listening to the rest of their pitch.

  9. Adam Avatar
    Adam

    Judgement of others rarely serves me well except in the case of steering clear of people that appear to not be healthy to my own well-being. Some judgement is a protection mechanism. But it is judgement that is clearly beyond protection that just becomes hateful and self-destructive. Someone told me homes are being bought up by Chinese with cash so they are competing with me in my home search. Now when I see an Asian looking at home I’m interested in, anger starts to rise and I have to put that in check and realize these people may be American citizens looking for their own home.

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