The True Costs of the “Harmless” Little Lies We Tell – Step 6

While in his room a boy's nose grows like Pinocchio w/ sfz title

“If one of our character defects is dishonesty, we can think about situations in our lives where we normally lie and imagine how it would feel, to tell the truth for a change.”

~~~

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What “big chunks of truth” were revealed thru a “little lie,” you told, lately?

OR

Why do small lies often grow into bigger problems in our lives?

~~~

Lies, Lies, Lies – Thompson Twins (3:09)

Why People Lie (3;23)

Living In Truth Meditation (32:09)

 

English Analysis

Small lies seem harmless, but they damage trust and personal integrity. In The Big Book, honesty marks real progress in self-discovery and recovery. The text stresses swallowing “big chunks of truth” about ourselves as a foundation. Truth allows growth, while lies keep us trapped in false images and denial.

Similarly, It Works, How & Why highlights dishonesty as a defect needing careful attention. It suggests imagining honesty in daily situations to experience new freedom and relief. This relief shows the possibility of authentic living without exhausting cover-ups. The burden of deception drains energy that honesty instead releases into healthier living.

Cicero, the Roman philosopher, warned, “One falsehood leads easily to another.” His words reveal the slippery slope created when deception becomes habitual. Modern psychology supports this: lying often snowballs into larger distortions of reality. Philosopher Immanuel Kant argued truth is a duty owed to oneself and others.
Kant believed lies erode dignity by treating others as means, not ends.

Therefore, lying undermines both personal progress and communal trust. Truth demands courage, but it produces clarity, peace, and stronger relationships. Each thinker, from recovery writers to Cicero and Kant, affirms honesty’s centrality. The courage to reject “harmless” lies begins the process of deep transformation.


Traducción al español

Citas

“Si ya has tomado una decisión, y un inventario de tus defectos más graves, has hecho un buen comienzo. Al hacerlo, has tragado y digerido algunos grandes trozos de verdad sobre ti mismo.” (El Gran Libro, p. 33)

“Si uno de nuestros defectos de carácter es la deshonestidad, podemos pensar en situaciones en nuestras vidas donde normalmente mentimos e imaginar cómo se sentiría decir la verdad por un cambio. … [entonces] podemos sentir un alivio ante la posibilidad de una vida libre de tener que cubrir pequeños engaños con grandes fabricaciones.” (Funciona: Cómo y Por Qué, p. 46)

“Es un verdadero dicho que ‘Una falsedad conduce fácilmente a otra.’” — Cicerón (106 a.C.–43 a.C.), filósofo / estadista romano


Análisis

Las pequeñas mentiras parecen inofensivas, pero dañan la confianza y la integridad personal. En El Gran Libro, la honestidad marca un verdadero progreso en el autodescubrimiento y la recuperación. El texto enfatiza tragar “grandes trozos de verdad” como fundamento para crecer. La verdad permite avance, mientras las mentiras nos mantienen atrapados en imágenes falsas.

De manera similar, Funciona: Cómo y Por Qué destaca la deshonestidad como un defecto central. Sugiere imaginar honestidad en la vida diaria para experimentar alivio y libertad. Ese alivio muestra la posibilidad de vivir auténticamente sin agotadoras excusas. La carga del engaño consume energía que la honestidad convierte en salud y claridad.

Cicerón advirtió: “Una falsedad conduce fácilmente a otra.”
Sus palabras revelan la pendiente peligrosa cuando la mentira se hace hábito. La psicología moderna confirma: la mentira suele crecer en distorsiones mayores. El filósofo Immanuel Kant sostuvo que la verdad es un deber hacia todos. Para Kant, la mentira destruye dignidad al tratar a otros como simples medios.

Así, la mentira debilita el progreso personal y la confianza común.
La verdad exige valor, pero produce paz, claridad y relaciones más fuertes. Cada pensador afirma la centralidad de la honestidad en la vida humana.

Pregunta: ¿Por qué las pequeñas mentiras suelen convertirse en problemas más grandes en nuestras vidas?

Zonr blog on the lie

Comments

11 responses to “The True Costs of the “Harmless” Little Lies We Tell – Step 6”

  1. Eli🌱🫶🏾🫡🪱 Avatar
    Eli🌱🫶🏾🫡🪱

    Lying is exhausting. I prefer to take what people say at face value, when I can afford to. Regardless of if I believe them, it is simpler to kindly humor another than argue. It isn’t my job to try to somehow make others honest.
    For myself, I rarely see the point of lying these days. It just doesn’t serve me. It’s just a brain-drain,

  2. Elexi W.S.A. Avatar

    I think we start thinking lying will get us ahead, and then repeat the same mistakes, but when we’re honest we realize just how great a problem in our lives even more. Privacy is very important to me also, so I think I’m more apt to lie when I want some stuff in my life kept private.

  3. Ari L Avatar
    Ari L

    For me, at least in the past, I used to lie about so many little details of the life I’d lived to try and seem cooler or more interesting. Dressed myself up internally as a storyteller, but also felt that eventually I had to live up to the increasingly hard to live up to expectations created by believing my own lies. Safe to say, it changed the way I thought about and perceived myself and caused a lot of problems for me even though it started off seemingly innocuous. What starts as a white lie might end up a delusion if we aren’t careful not to start on the path in the first place. Our authentic selves are way more interesting anyways 🙂

  4. E-Dawg Avatar
    E-Dawg

    Lying or any character defect that I water will grow. Many of us cling to our Character defects because there is a certain distorted Security in familiar pain. It seems safer to embrace what we know than to let go of it for the unknown.

  5. Sabrina J Avatar
    Sabrina J

    This is a program of rigorous honesty. Those are nice words to say. It sets up a kind of moral supremacy that says, “we are ablove reproach, we are perfect in our truth” kind of mentality. And what a flip that is from past behavior. In my active using addiction, lying was just part of the show, not to mention the lies I would hear. One plug would tell me, every time we would go see them, “Oh wow, since last time all my things have been stolen” or “I just had another heart attack” either one, sometimes both. Nether were true. I told lies to the point of almost believing them myself.

    Believing them myself. That’s a core problem. And that is the behavior that no longer is prevalent and is less every day in recovery. What I have learned for is that it is the self deception that is the root of harm. The slow disintegration of ones self to be capable of doing anything is rooted in lies.

    Thank you for sharing recovery with me. Grateful.

  6. Byron Avatar
    Byron

    Little lies are a snowball effect. I have to ask myself why I had the need to do that. Only then can I find that it has to do with, selfishness,insecurities, control, fear etc and then can i really become aware. I caught myself sugarcoating adivse someone asked. hoping to control how they took it when in reality that is selfish, and manipulative.” (Orig. post by Byron 9/11/2020)

  7. Simon Yebio Avatar
    Simon Yebio

    Little lies have always been more harmful to me than big ones. Little lies are the ones I tell myself and fester and become my truth the more I repeatedly tell myself them

  8. Margot E. Avatar
    Margot E.

    I cannot let the day go unacknowledged. I try to tell myself that people dying somewhere else has no impact on me and yet when I tell myself that, it is a lie. I grieve deeply for every unnecessary loss of life. I can only wish them eternal rest (dona eis requiem, sempiternam). And peace to us all. Namaste.

  9. Easy does it Avatar
    Easy does it

    Ahhh yes my old friend self justification.. Makes the surface feel better for a while but before I know it back on that same treadmill …

  10. Slim Jim Avatar
    Slim Jim

    Lately I’ve been struggling with these feelings regarding my co-workers. While I know, intellectually, feelings are not facts, its still a difficult to put them into proper perspective. I have to keep asking myself have I really forgiven or am I lying to myself about that and then trying to defend lying to myself because I feel justified in the way I feel.

  11. Easy does it Avatar
    Easy does it

    Lying can be an instant defense mechanism which can be directly tied to pride…another character defect which In turn can be tied to insecurity which also can be tied to self esteem issues. Dishonesty is a great tool to cover a lot of bases… But at what cost?

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