How Not to Miss Out on The Most Precious Moments of Clarity – Step 8

A black school girl listening attentively w/ sfz title

THE PRECIOUS MOMENTS THAT TEACH –  “Since defective relations with other human beings have nearly always been the immediate cause of our woes … no field of investigation could yield more satisfying and valuable rewards than this one.” (12 & 12, p. 80)

~~~

 – Sign up to Zonr for Today’s Full SFZ

What moments of clarity have you discovered when you’ve had painful relations with others, lately?

OR

When has facing your own pain helped you grow closer to others or your Higher Power?

~~~

Regrets – Lil Bow Wow (2:32)
The Truth of our Spiritual Awakening (9:55)
 Beautiful Awakening Intuition Hz Meditation (6:00)

English Analysis

Pain often marks the start of transformation. In It Works: How and Why (1993), the text reminds us that acknowledging harm leads to spiritual awakening. Viktor Frankl (1959) in Man’s Search for Meaning argued that growth arises when suffering gains purpose. Similarly, Carl Jung (1953) described the shadow as the hidden self that, when faced, awakens the soul. These insights align with Step 8’s courage to make amends despite discomfort. Each apology cleanses the spirit, creating space for serenity.

Relationships mirror this inner work. Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (1952) emphasizes how defective relations often cause our deepest distress. Brené Brown (2010) expands this, stating that vulnerability builds connection and trust. Through honest repair, we recover the capacity to love without fear. Forgiveness becomes an act of liberation rather than submission.

Margaret Cho’s words reveal the emptiness of success without integrity. Her image of hidden cruelty reflects the danger of false pride. When we cling to resentment, we feed illusions of control instead of surrendering to a Higher Power. The Wellbriety Teachings affirm that “the hurt we heal in ourselves heals the circle” (Coyhis, 2006). Healing therefore extends beyond the individual—it restores community and balance.

Transformation begins when humility replaces false pride and pain becomes a teacher, not an enemy.


Traducción al español

CÓMO NO PERDER LOS MOMENTOS MÁS PRECIOSOS DE CLARIDAD – PASO 8

EL CRECIMIENTO QUE EL DOLOR PUEDE TRAER

«Aceptar el daño que causamos, sentir verdadero arrepentimiento y estar dispuestos a cambiar es un proceso doloroso. Pero no debemos temer a nuestros dolores de crecimiento, pues reconocer estas verdades nos ayuda a continuar nuestro despertar espiritual». (It Works: How and Why, p. 58)

APRECIAR LAS LECCIONES QUE APRENDEMOS

«Ya que las relaciones defectuosas con otros seres humanos casi siempre han sido la causa inmediata de nuestras penas… ningún campo de investigación podría rendir recompensas más satisfactorias y valiosas que este». (12 & 12, p. 80)

«El éxito no significa nada si no puedes dormir por la noche por las cosas duras que dijiste, los secretos mezquinos afilados contra el duro y pedregoso arrepentimiento, esperando ser clavados en el vientre blando de una “amistad”.»
– Margaret Cho (1968– ), actriz y comediante coreano-estadounidense


Análisis en español

El dolor a menudo marca el inicio de la transformación. En It Works: How and Why (1993), se nos recuerda que reconocer el daño lleva al despertar espiritual. Viktor Frankl (1959) en El hombre en busca de sentido afirmó que el crecimiento surge cuando el sufrimiento tiene propósito. De igual modo, Carl Jung (1953) explicó que la sombra, al ser enfrentada, despierta el alma. Estas ideas se alinean con el valor del Paso 8: hacer enmiendas a pesar del malestar. Cada disculpa limpia el espíritu y crea espacio para la serenidad.

Las relaciones reflejan este trabajo interior. Doce Pasos y Doce Tradiciones (1952) enfatiza que las relaciones defectuosas suelen causar nuestro mayor dolor. Brené Brown (2010) amplía esto al señalar que la vulnerabilidad construye conexión y confianza. A través de la reparación honesta, recuperamos la capacidad de amar sin miedo. El perdón se convierte en un acto de liberación, no de sumisión.

Las palabras de Margaret Cho revelan el vacío del éxito sin integridad. Su imagen de la crueldad oculta refleja el peligro del falso orgullo. Cuando nos aferramos al resentimiento, alimentamos ilusiones de control en lugar de rendirnos a un Poder Superior. Las Enseñanzas Wellbriety afirman que “el dolor que sanamos en nosotros mismos sana el círculo” (Coyhis, 2006). La sanación, por tanto, va más allá del individuo: restaura la comunidad y el equilibrio.

La transformación comienza cuando la humildad reemplaza al falso orgullo y el dolor se convierte en maestro, no en enemigo.


Pregunta: ¿Cuándo enfrentar tu propio dolor te ayudó a acercarte más a los demás o a tu Poder Superior?

Zonr pod on precious moments

Comments

7 responses to “How Not to Miss Out on The Most Precious Moments of Clarity – Step 8”

  1. eli Avatar
    eli

    Being with others can hurt. Any kind of relationship- I mean, any kind of intimacy- comes with some kind of baggage. Finding the tools to carry myself mitigates the harm I do, and allows me to choose to help others (or not!). Dealing with my own pain gives me the strength to protect myself. It also allows me to share myself honestly and fully, and gives me the strength to move past, or with, fear.

  2. cb7595 Avatar
    cb7595

    Facing my own pain has helped me grow closer to others through allowing us to connect on a deeper level. In facing my own pain, I am able to be more vulnerable with others. Being vulnerable with someone else opens the door to them being more vulnerable with me. Through this vulnerability we are able to connect on a far deeper level.

  3. Neyun Uzdlabayoh Avatar
    Neyun Uzdlabayoh

    When has facing your own pain helped you grow closer to others or your Higher Power?~

    By expressing my own pain and struggle with my sobriety to my friend who also struggles with drug and alcohol to cope with her pain . . Sharing how I would previously numb my pain and sorrow with alcohol and drugs, and how sobriety has now lead to peace, because yes it may hurt more in the moment to truly feel your pain or grief . . Internal struggles, face on . But, now I’m processing better, and happier all around because I’m not acting a fool while going through things and expressing myself im destructive ways, now I’m expressing myself honestly and true . I am expressing myself as my true self . It’s very freeing ~

  4. Ari L Avatar
    Ari L

    I think facing one’s own pain is an essential part of sobriety, at least for me. Definitely a big part of using was to stave off the realizations of my own shortcomings and pain that comes with it. And yet real change and progress comes with facing that pain as it shows us the direction of which to grow. I learned that id rather feel the emotions then be numb.

  5. Sabrina J Avatar
    Sabrina J

    In the rooms I find common ground and understanding. For the benefit of one addict helping another is perhaps unmatched. When we are seen and heard by someone who gets it, the willingness to trust again heals and grows. Finding the program format that resonates strongest with each person is crucial to long term healing. While often people like to focus on long term, the most important time is today, in this present moment. A strong community is foundational, and will assist and finding a personal path to a higher power. Finding a higher power is critical to reducing the load we all carry and appreciate that there is help beyond what we can see, hear, touch and feel.

    Thank you for sharing recovery with me. Grateful.

  6. E-Dawg Avatar
    E-Dawg

    When I’m facing my pain head on I can trust my feelings to another person in recovery. In doing that I discover that I’m not unique, that I share a common bond with this person in recovery which brings me closer to Jesus…replacing loneliness and fear with the love of the fellowship…

  7. Bodhi Baba Avatar
    Bodhi Baba

    FEATURED POST FROM THE ZONR VAULT – “There are so many people I do not want to face again. How do people visit old hurts inflicted on others and not feel like crawling away – ashamed, embarrassed, humiliated? There is one amends I am dreading and I don’t know how to feel right and/or powerful about it. Help!” (Margot E., 11/6/2012)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.