How to Unclench Our Vise-like Grip on Resentments – Step 8

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THE SELF-DELUSION PRISON –  “Some of us, though, tripped over a very different snag. We clung to the claim that when drinking we never hurt anybody but ourselves.”   (12 & 12, p, 79)

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What truth(s)  about your past have you’ve been afraid to face due to self-delusion?

OR

What helps you release anger and open your heart to peace today?

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Limp Bizkit – Break Stuff (2:47)
The Bodhi Tree and Buddhist Meditation (10:01)

Myanmar, Burma: The Three Jewels Meditation (14:56)

Analysis of How to Unclench Our Vise-like Grip on Resentments – Step 8

Letting go of resentment invites deep humility. It Works: How & Why reminds us that self-obsession clouds amends and blocks healing. Carl Jung saw resentment as “a poison we drink hoping others will die” (Jung, 1953). He believed that acknowledgment of one’s shadow allows transformation. This insight echoes the Wellbriety teaching that “healing begins when we face ourselves in truth” (Coyhis, 2006). Facing truth requires courage and the release of false pride through connection to a Higher Power.

In Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, the text reveals another layer: we harm others while convincing ourselves we only suffer alone. Viktor Frankl (1959) described this as the loss of meaning in suffering. He taught that purpose redeems pain when we choose growth over denial. Step 8 asks us to restore that purpose by naming harm without excuse. Through this honesty, we escape “self-delusion’s prison” and find emotional sobriety.

Vaclav Havel’s reflection on apathy deepens this call. He warned that indifference numbs moral awareness. Resentment operates the same way; it deadens the soul’s vitality. Healing demands that we exchange resentment for empathy. Then, the walls of isolation crumble, and grace replaces judgment.

When we unclench the grip of resentment, we receive peace. Forgiveness then becomes freedom rather than obligation.


Traducción al español

Cómo aflojar nuestro agarre de resentimientos – Paso 8

DEJAR IR LA AUTO-OBSESIÓN

“La mayoría de nosotros debemos enmendar algo con al menos una persona que también nos ha hecho daño… No mejoraremos si seguimos bajo el dominio de la auto-obsesión.”
(It Works, How & Why, p. 55)

NOS LIBERA DE LA PRISIÓN DE LA AUTO-ILUSIÓN

“Algunos de nosotros tropezamos con un obstáculo diferente. Afirmamos que cuando bebíamos nunca dañábamos a nadie más que a nosotros mismos.”
(12 & 12, p. 79)

“La condición trágica del hombre moderno no es que ignore el sentido de su vida, sino que cada vez le importa menos.”
Vaclav Havel (1936– ), exdisidente y primer presidente de la República Checa


Análisis

Soltar el resentimiento invita a una profunda humildad. It Works: How & Why enseña que la auto-obsesión nubla las enmiendas y bloquea la sanación. Carl Jung veía el resentimiento como “un veneno que bebemos esperando que otros mueran” (Jung, 1953). Creía que reconocer nuestra sombra permite la transformación. Esto refleja la enseñanza Wellbriety de que “la sanación comienza cuando nos enfrentamos a nosotros mismos con verdad” (Coyhis, 2006). Enfrentar la verdad requiere valentía y liberar el falso orgullo mediante una conexión con un Poder Superior.

En Doce Pasos y Doce Tradiciones, el texto revela otra capa: dañamos a otros mientras creemos sufrir solos. Viktor Frankl (1959) describió esto como la pérdida de sentido en el sufrimiento. Enseñó que el propósito redime el dolor cuando elegimos el crecimiento sobre la negación. El Paso 8 nos pide restaurar ese propósito nombrando el daño sin excusas. A través de esta honestidad, escapamos de “la prisión de la auto-ilusión” y hallamos sobriedad emocional.

La reflexión de Vaclav Havel sobre la apatía profundiza este llamado. Advirtió que la indiferencia adormece la conciencia moral. El resentimiento actúa igual; adormece la vitalidad del alma. Sanar exige cambiar resentimiento por empatía. Entonces, los muros de aislamiento se derrumban y la gracia reemplaza el juicio.

Cuando aflojamos el agarre del resentimiento, recibimos paz. El perdón se convierte en libertad y no en obligación.

Pregunta: ¿Qué te ayuda hoy a soltar la ira y abrir tu corazón a la paz?

Zonr logo on humility


Comments

6 responses to “How to Unclench Our Vise-like Grip on Resentments – Step 8”

  1. Ari L Avatar
    Ari L

    Music, forgiveness, and focusing on the treasures I do have greatly help me in letting go of anger. There’s a clarity that comes with it, then anger becomes something more akin to a compass pointing toward what gets under my skin instead of something primal. A nice, balanced ethic

  2. Neyun Uzdlah Bayoh Avatar
    Neyun Uzdlah Bayoh

    What helps you release anger and open your heart to peace today? ~

    The concept of community and for the love of friendship and the higher good ~

  3. E-Dawg Avatar
    E-Dawg

    First of all, I want to recognize that the z o n r always has good choices in music.
    Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit is a good outlet for me to release some anger… I have always strived for peace. But when an issue of anger arises with a person , place or thing it’s best for me to discuss it with that person, to talk it over unless they are mentally incapable of doing so… then it’s time to put the pen to paper or call my sponsor or a friend…that has not failed me yet… anything but bottling It Up Inside. When an issue of anger arises regarding people places or things I simply follow the guidelines of the steps as the Holy Spirit takes me by the hand.

  4. Mink Avatar
    Mink

    Resentment is hard because sometimes I mistake rationalization for forgiveness. I can explain to myself and understand why people did the things they did, and think that means I forgave them. But sometimes that just deflects the resentment and pushes it down. I still feel the resentment, but now I feel guilty because I think I shouldn’t. True forgiveness and acceptance for me comes from working the 12 steps. It is independent of the person’s reasons for doing what
    They did, it is an eternal experience of acceptance and spiritual growth.

  5. Sabrina J Avatar
    Sabrina J

    What helps you release anger and open your heart to peace today?

    Creating. No matter the medium, anytime I am actively involved in creating the build up of any emotion, including anger, is released. I love knowing that I am able to use the thing I love as a tool to be healthier, mind-body-spirit. As the speaker at the last meeting I attended, who is a painter, said “Every painting is a prayer” so to do I find my art to be a prayer, a meditation, a release.

    Thank you for sharing recovery with me. Grateful.

  6. Lotus W.S.A. Avatar

    The right chest pulsations remind me of a heart that we all need to function well, and not fall out. Resentments can be like being upset, but could also make us wiser in decisions we make, so that we won’t go down a path that we don’t want to be on. In wisdom, and peace I find not disclosing all information to everyone all the time is wisest. I understand if someone needs someone to talk to about their problems, and then gets ridiculed for not knowing how else to receive assistance. Letting people become aware of our boundaries is what I prefer in comparison to anger. To hold down a worthwhile job we have to have levels of respect, courteousness, and peace/zen. No one could ever put me(moi) down nor a substance even if trying.

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