The Origins of “Restraint of Pen & Tongue” – Step 10

Boy writing at a desk with huge shadow monster looming from behind and sfz title

TODAY WE ARE FREE TO BREATHE – “Before we got clean, most of our actions were guided by impulse. Today, we are not locked into this type of thinking.” “We learn not to become emotionally involved with problems.  We deal with what is at hand and try not to force solutions.” (The Basic Text, p. 90)

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How have you been successful with “Restraint of Pen  & Tongue” lately?

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OR

Have you ever felt bad after saying something mean too quickly?

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Miss Janet Jackson takes “Control” – (5:02)

Van Gogh Brief Bio (4:08)

 VAJRASATTVA Meditation & Mantra (8:29)

Analysis: The Art of the Sacred Pause

The post explores the art of pausing. Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions warns against hasty speech. One unkind tirade destroys precious bonds. We must practice restraint of tongue and pen. This choice protects our peace of mind. Tolerance evaporates when we act without thought.

The Basic Text highlights our freedom from old impulses. We no longer stay locked in reactive cycles. Instead, we face the present moment with calm. Vincent van Gogh noted that small things build greatness. This wisdom aligns with the Great Spirit’s guidance. Wellbriety teachings emphasize this gentle balance. “We must learn to sit with our feelings” (White Bison, 2002, p. 115). This stillness allows the Higher Power to speak.

Marcus Aurelius championed this inner silence (Aurelius, 2006). He believed our reactions define our character. Choosing silence often proves more powerful than speaking. We build a life of integrity through these small pauses.

References Aurelius, M. (2006). Meditations (M. Hammond, Trans.). Penguin Classics. (Original work published c. 180 AD). White Bison. (2002). The Red Road to Wellbriety. White Bison, Inc.

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Traducción al Español

Citas, Títulos y Referencias

LOS ORÍGENES DE LA “RESTRICCIÓN DE LA PLUMA Y LA LENGUA” – PASO 10

TEN CUIDADO –

“Cuando hablamos o actuamos precipitada o imprudentemente, la capacidad de ser imparciales y tolerantes se evapora en el acto. Una diatriba cruel o un juicio precipitado y voluntarioso pueden arruinar nuestra relación con otra persona… Nada rinde tanto como la restricción de la lengua y la pluma.” (12 y 12, p. 91)

HOY SOMOS LIBRES PARA RESPIRAR –

“Antes de estar limpios, la mayoría de nuestras acciones se guiaban por el impulso. Hoy, no estamos atrapados en este tipo de pensamiento.” “Aprendemos a no involucrarnos emocionalmente con los problemas. Nos ocupamos de lo que tenemos entre manos y tratamos de no forzar soluciones.” (El Texto Básico, p. 90)

FRAGMENTO DE VAN GOGH –

“Las grandes cosas no se hacen por impulso, sino por una serie de pequeñas cosas reunidas.” — Vincent van Gogh (1853 – 1890)


Análisis

El análisis explora el arte de la pausa. Doce Pasos y Doce Tradiciones advierte contra el habla apresurada. Una diatriba cruel destruye vínculos preciosos. Debemos practicar la restricción de la lengua y la pluma. Esta elección protege nuestra paz mental. La tolerancia se evapora cuando actuamos sin pensar.

El Texto Básico destaca nuestra libertad de los viejos impulsos. Ya no permanecemos atrapados en ciclos reactivos. En cambio, enfrentamos el momento presente con calma. Vincent van Gogh señaló que las cosas pequeñas construyen la grandeza. Esta sabiduría se alinea con la guía del Gran Espíritu. Las enseñanzas de Wellbriety enfatizan este equilibrio suave. “Debemos aprender a sentarnos con nuestros sentimientos” (White Bison, 2002, p. 115). Esta quietud permite que el Poder Superior hable.

Marco Aurelio defendió este silencio interior (Aurelius, 2006). Él creía que nuestras reacciones definen nuestro carácter. Elegir el silencio a menudo resulta más poderoso que hablar. Construimos una vida de integridad a través de estas pequeñas pausas.


Pregunta Concluyente

¿Alguna vez te has sentido mal después de decir algo malo demasiado rápido?

Zonr logo on impulse

Comments

12 responses to “The Origins of “Restraint of Pen & Tongue” – Step 10”

  1. Ari L Avatar
    Ari L

    It’s been a minute, but I have definitely been guilty of this. What’s helped me the most is the maxim of ‘respond, don’t react’ to situations. I’ve also definately been guilty of poking fun, for fun, and taking it too far. I struggle with joking like this after having caused pain doing so.

  2. Neyun Uzdlah Bayoh Avatar
    Neyun Uzdlah Bayoh

    How have you been successful with “Restraint of Pen & Tongue” lately?

    I’ve been really emotional lately after experiencing some intense traum, but through the start of my healing journey, I had momentary lapses when overwhelmed and triggered but always was somehow able to keep a level head and not say things I would regret . I more so withdraw and take space to regulate, connect with my higher power and keep myself away from any over stimulation and triggering situations . Healing is not over night, so im giving myself space and time to heal . To feel, and connect with those I love that love me when I feel open enough to share ~

    Thank you for sharing my healing and recovery journey with me ~

  3. eli Avatar
    eli

    Acting impulsively is a good way to gather regrets quickly. There are times to be decisive, and ways to train yourself to react as well as possible in those situations. But most of the time, when I feel like I’m going to die if I don’t say something, it’s actually best to wait.

  4. E-Dawg Avatar
    E-Dawg

    Step 10 teaches me self-control by avoiding pride fuelled outbursts… the goal is to develop that automatic self restraint, that helps me with my spiritual progress…

  5. acutelyobtuse Avatar
    acutelyobtuse

    How have you been successful with “Restraint of Pen & Tongue” lately?

    I find that mindfulness practices assist greatly. They allow me to get into that 3 ms gap between trigger and response to allow time to think about what my reaction should be.

    The idea that we should be silent is good, but one can still be a fast thinker, to the outside, by taking just a handful of milliseconds within to consider the response before responding.

  6. Sabrina J Avatar
    Sabrina J

    I keep my mouth shut as much as possible. Let me listen and learn, not speak and offend. It is not always easy, as often I like to share with people, yet I have learned there are situations where talking will not benefit me as it might cause confrontation or ideology disagreements. Another great piece of wisdom that I am reminded of is that when I speak, I repeat what I know, when I listen I learn. I would rather learn.

    Thank you for sharing recovery with me. Grateful.

  7. Jim Brown Avatar
    Jim Brown

    TODAY’S FEATURED POST – “This has always been a tricky area for me. On the one hand I am very outspoken when my feathers are ruffled, and on the other I sometimes don’t speak out when I should. Lately, I have been reminding myself of what’s most important in my own life, and I let that guide my decisions to speak out.” (Orig. post 1/21/2013)

  8. Shannon Avatar
    Shannon

    Today I quiet myself clean

  9. Bodhi Baba Avatar
    Bodhi Baba

    I have a response to an email I want to send off but I’m waiting till after the weekend for perspective.

  10. Tony Omaeboo Avatar
    Tony Omaeboo

    Shortening my writing and speaking is the task. I spoke briefly before now I’ll be more like a munk.

  11. Margot E. Avatar
    Margot E.

    Last night, on the advice of a Friend in the Program, I wrote a letter to my father. It is not a letter I will ever mail nor have my father read. We have never had a close relationship and I have always blamed my father for that. However, in the process of writing the letter I zeroed in on my unfinished communication for him – it was not blame, it was not fault, it was that I never felt he heard me when I said I loved him. My part in this is that I gave up telling him. Last night, after I wrote the letter, I called my father. I told him that I love him.

    1. JB jr. Avatar
      JB jr.

      That was a lovely happy ending. In the MLK parade, while marching, it became very clear to all 50 or so of us marching that a smile generally receives a smile back, even if they don’t agree with your signs saying , “We’re Here, We’re Queer, and We’re Here to stay”.

      You can read much more about the march on our sister site … http://occupylovela.org/ .

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