Having been Burned Time and Time Again; Finally Something We can Trust – the Tao of Step 3

Written by

Bodhi Baba

Step 3, Zonr Posts

“He who does not trust enough, will never be trusted.” — Lao Tzu (~600 BC) Chinese Philosopher & father of Tao Te Ching

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What do you find challenging about ‘the Tao of trust’, lately?

Why is it hard to trust again, and how can trusting help us feel like we belong?

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Trust in Me – Etta James (2:58)

Kung Fu – the TV series (2:17)

Tao Te Ching verse in Meditation (6:50)

Today’s SFZ examines Step Three, which invites us to let go of control and begin trusting a power greater than ourselves. Trust, however, doesn’t come easily for those who have been hurt. As Brené Brown notes, vulnerability is the birthplace of trust, yet vulnerability feels dangerous when trust has been broken. Step Three asks us to take that risk anyway. It encourages action over comfort, faith over fear.

The quote from It Works, How & Why shows this clearly. Trust isn’t a feeling we wait for; it’s something we do. Psychologist Erik Erikson called this the crisis of basic trust. In recovery, this crisis reappears. We learn to trust by acting, not waiting.

Lao Tzu reminds us that trust is reciprocal: when we withhold trust, others sense it. This echoes psychologist Carl Rogers, who believed people grow best in conditions of genuineness, acceptance, and empathy. Step Three fosters these conditions by helping us surrender to a healthier path.

The 12 & 12 quote speaks to the gifts of trust. When we stop resisting life, we begin to belong. This matches what Viktor Frankl, psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, taught: meaning arises when we transcend ourselves. Trusting the process allows that transcendence.

The Tao of Step Three means letting go of rigid control. Like water flowing around a rock, trust leads to strength through surrender. Only then do we stop trying to fit into places we were never meant to stay.

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Comments

8 responses to “Having been Burned Time and Time Again; Finally Something We can Trust – the Tao of Step 3”

June 11, 2025

Elexi W.S.A.

It’s very hard for me to trust, but I’ve learned ways in that I can decipher information to become more trusting, and when it’s dark or hidden it’s hard to trust after bad things have occurred. When, and where to trust I think are important, and scoping things out are good forms of trust for me.

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June 10, 2025

Zen

When trust is lost, it is incredibly hard to gain again. Trust is gained in drops and lost in buckets. Trusting in a higher power can be difficult for many, especially those who are not used to believing in higher forms of being.

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June 10, 2025

Sabrina J

When trust is lost, it can create the mindset that nothing can be trusted. Its like, well if that was a lie, than what about this, that, the other thing. This is a trap and unhealthy to hold onto thinking that says everything is untrustworthy. Imagine becoming so untrusting that one starts to even question if their HP is real.

It is important to realize that humans, all of us are fallible and for circumstances unknown, occasionally some one or thing we might otherwise have trusted to our bones, can make mistakes. Then, we can learn the gift of forgiveness. Understanding that forgiveness sets the prisoner free, knowing that the prisoner is me.

Trust and forgiveness are interconnected. I choose to trust and forgive.

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June 10, 2025

E-Dawg

After making that decision in step 3 it is time to trust God and get out of the driver’s seat and let him steer my vehicle through life and allowing wisdom to grow by not repeating the same mistakes…

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June 9, 2018

Simon Yebio

Trusting the relationship between me and a good friend. Wondering if it is anything more than just a friendship. I guess the best thing to do is ask again. If not then atleast I’ll know from the horses mouth

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June 9, 2013

Br. Buddha

Good morning everyone + Happy Sunday. Here is today’s thought. For most of us, life does not move in a straight line, but moves more like a meandering river. Visions are dreamt, lost, recovered, lived out in new ways; but in every moment, we move toward the sea. So keep strong. Keep your faith. Move toward your dreams + make today a beautiful day. Blessings. BB

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June 13, 2012

JB jr.

I have difficulty trusting that by putting my self out there I will find it easier to connect with others.

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June 9, 2012

Margot E.

In the movie “Car Wash” the Pointer Sisters sing about Richard Pryor who is cast as a minister; the song has the lyrics, “if you believe in something, why not believe in me?” Maybe the words could be “why not believe in myself?” When I can act in concert with my Higher Power, sometimes my higher self emerges and does the leg work, is creative, loves myself, and forgives. We are a dynamic duo when I vote with my heart and trust.

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