When You Get Right Down to It … “It’s an Inside Job.” – Step 3

“When you meet someone better than yourself, turn your thoughts to becoming his equal. When you meet someone not as good as you are, look within and examine your own self.”

– Confucius (551 ~ 479 BC) Chinese philosopher

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What do you think Confucius meant by “someone better”?

OR

Why is it important to look inside yourself before trying to change your life?

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Work – Rihanna ft. Drake (7:34)

Changing Your Life  to be Better (w/ Wavey Davey) (2:01)  

Sikh Willingness to Surrender Meditation – Aakhan Jor by Kaur (7:36)

Today’s SFZ focuses on personal willingness, internal change, and spiritual growth. It urges individuals to look inward and take responsibility for their own transformation.

Step Three asks us to turn our will and lives over to a Higher Power. Bill W., co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, emphasizes that this begins with willingness. In Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, he explains that willingness is something only the individual can build. Psychologist Carl Rogers supports this view. He believed change starts with honest self-acceptance. Without that, growth becomes impossible.

The next piece is courage. As It Works: How and Why states, we must reaffirm our decision daily. Change doesn’t happen all at once. Brené Brown, an expert on vulnerability and courage, agrees. She says courage means showing up and acting even when afraid.

Confucius offers another timeless insight. When we compare ourselves to others, we shouldn’t judge. Instead, we should reflect. That reflection leads to humility, not pride. Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, wrote that between stimulus and response is a space. In that space, we have the power to choose. Step Three lives in that space—where we choose trust over control.

The authors quoted agree: growth begins within. Real change is not about fixing the outside world. It’s about surrendering, examining ourselves, and choosing to act differently.

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Comments

13 responses to “When You Get Right Down to It … “It’s an Inside Job.” – Step 3”

  1. Eli🌱 Avatar
    Eli🌱

    I think he meant someone you like or envy. Someone who displays traits or behaviors you’d like to emulate, or who generates results you’d like to share. That’s all.

  2. Ari L Avatar
    Ari L

    I think Confucius was talking about the dangers of jealousy. Like, if we can learn to make successful people into role models instead of negatively comparing ourselves we can find ways to grow from that instead of poisoning ourselves.

  3. Zen Avatar
    Zen

    To me, it’s important to look within myself before attempting to change my life because I may make too many superficial changes without realizing I need to make heavy-hitting decisions for real improvement.

  4. Sabrina J Avatar
    Sabrina J

    It all starts within. If I meet someone and judge them, I should look inside at the mirror and see what it is in my life that needs attention and change. Why am I am receiving the lesson and what can be learn. We all mirror for each other so that we can see an aspect of our lives that we look to change and improve. Thank you, I am grateful for this opportunity to share and heal with you.

  5. E-Dawg Avatar
    E-Dawg

    To me it means when someone else is perceived as less Worthy it should be an opportunity for self-reflection… there but for the grace of God go I

  6. Tony. O Avatar
    Tony. O

    This has been apart of my life for a while now. For the past 6 years I have been on a journy of sef discovery. My Ego has gotten in the way of how i interpret my experience. Now I have taken on the moto that
    “I am alive and youthful. ”
    “I can make good decicions and I will over come whatever obstical is in my path. ”
    This week I have started focusing my days. Here is an exaple of a week
    Mon – Home life
    Tue – Work life
    Wen – Further Education
    Thu – Start a business
    Fri – Health and Wellness
    Sat – Shopping and Art
    Sun – Review of goals

  7. Simon Yebio Avatar
    Simon Yebio

    Yes! I believe love is a way of life, actions and reactions towards first yourself and then others and everything you come in to contact with

    1. Tony. O Avatar
      Tony. O

      Yes I too belive that life is love. And I support and belife that, in the moment you feel, react and process the interaction. Welcome new experices and accept the good of the moment.

  8. Bohdi Baba Avatar

    Yesterday I had to escort some one off the property I volunteer at after they used the restroom without any shoes on. Clearly homeless. He knew exactly how to find the restroom so I waited till he was done. But I still had a mix of emotions from sadness to anger to fear this could be me.

    1. Tony. O Avatar
      Tony. O

      You have a kind heart. You need not take this feeling with you much longer because you did what is required of you; You stayed objective. Losing your objectivity can be a trigger to drink. Or even worse, losing your objectivity could have far reaching ramification that could put your or others well being in jeopardy. In short. Good job. He will get the help he needs when he is ready to accept it.

  9. Adam Avatar
    Adam

    Man, I just know I need a caring HP constantly when I’m driving. I have to turn it over every time I see another car. I guess that is good as it gives me a regular and obvious way to practice turning it over. I was doing it in the car this morning. For me sometimes it is about not making other people’s problems my problem. If someone disrespects me, they are the ones that have to look at themselves in the mirror every day. This is their problem, not mine.

  10. JB jr. Avatar
    JB jr.

    Little by little I try to complete what I set out to do and leave the result to my HP. Trying not to mind read and predict the future helps.

  11. Margot E. Avatar
    Margot E.

    The times I am most afraid are the times I am most likely to pray. I will ask for help for difficult conversations; I will seek help when I am convinced I am indeed utterly helpless. I forget that I can also turn over gratitude when things are going well. Today I intend to remember that I can pray in thanksgiving as well as in need.

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