How to Do The ‘Right’ Thing for the ‘Right’ Reasons – Step 3

Rochefoucauld's chateau with his motives quote on a plaque in the front lawn.

“We consider our plans for the day.  Before we begin, we ask God [or our HP]* to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonesty or self-seeking motives.” (The Big Book, p. 86)

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In what ways have you discovered you’ve done the right thing for the right reasons, lately?

OR

How can I tell if I’m doing something kind because it’s right—or just to get something back?

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Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap – AC/DC (4:19)

More from Rochefoucauld on Motivation (6:23)

Alpha Hz Wave Releasing Guided Meditation (10:08)



Today SFZ affirms Step 3 which asks us to turn our will and lives over to a Higher Power. This means letting go of control driven by fear or selfishness. As The Big Book teaches, we should begin each day asking our Higher Power to guide our thinking. We must release self-pity, dishonesty, and self-centered motives.

Immanuel Kant argued that moral worth comes only from doing good for its own sake, not for reward. His idea of the categorical imperative means we act rightly only if we could will everyone to do the same. In this light, Step 3 is not just about letting go, it’s about taking responsibility. We don’t wait to be good; we ask to be guided toward it.

The Basic Text reminds us that old habits return quickly. Without spiritual intention, even good deeds can become tools of ego. We must stay humble and ask for help. Thomas Merton, a Trappist monk, said, “Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real.” That humility helps us act from love, not performance.

Francois de La Rochefoucauld warned that many “good deeds” are driven by image, not compassion. Without honest self-awareness, we use kindness to control or gain approval. Brené Brown echoes this, writing that true courage comes from vulnerability, not ego.

By inviting guidance and checking our motives, we live authentically and grow spiritually. Step 3 becomes the turning point where intention meets action.

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Comments

10 responses to “How to Do The ‘Right’ Thing for the ‘Right’ Reasons – Step 3”

  1. E-Dawg Avatar
    E-Dawg

    In my journey of sobriety I have a conscience which will not allow me to manipulate something behind a good deed… doing something for others without expecting anything in return

  2. Sabrina J Avatar
    Sabrina J

    Perseverance. When faced with constant challenges to a institutional appeal, with rejection and rejection, each time churing part of my diseased mind to quit, give up. Instead, I would breathe, relax, accept and apply again. And again. And again, until on the 9th attempt, the appeal was granted. This was the right thing, for the right reasons, with the right outcome. And it doesn’t happen in a vacuum. People around me, who witnessed the struggle also helped. That energy builds momentum. When we do the right things, it attracts the right people. Including, if not first, with the help of my HP.

    Thank you for the opportunity to share and be part of the community. I am grateful.

  3. Simon Yebio Avatar
    Simon Yebio

    I can’t think of one in the moment however this is a good thing to think about when I am volunteering for “good motives”

  4. Bohdi Baba Avatar

    Tomorrow I’ll be speaking with a pretty heavy hitter in my industry. It’s the culmination of years and years of believing I’ve been working on the ‘right’ path and now we’ll see if we can take things to the next level.

  5. Margo Avatar
    Margo

    Thank you, Br. Buddha. That is a wonderful recipe for strength. I find that for me, serenity is my goal and hope and promise are key ingredients. When I can give freely to others I feel really good. I don’t know if that is selfish, but I love being of service. My balance comes in learning to also take care of myself. Have a blessed and beautiful day!

  6. Br. Buddha Avatar
    Br. Buddha

    Good morning everyone + happy Thursday. Here is today’s thought. If you are forced to go through life weighed down with some misfortune or handicap + live each day in new hope + promise + serenity, you have found your source of strength. You have found your Higher Power. Pass it on. Blessings. BB

  7. Adam Avatar
    Adam

    I often get little perks when I tip well. But I always make sure my motivation is to be kind and thankful and not expect anything. Whenever I make a decision that seems contrary to what is expected or seems appropriate, I honestly ask myself why. Sometimes motives were okay, sometimes not. But I have to constantly check in.

  8. easy does it Avatar
    easy does it

    Good for you Adam your on the right path! I know things for me never changed, and just got worse until I could fully concede that I had a problem, needed help and received it gratefully and with open arms.

  9. JB jr. Avatar
    JB jr.

    Its so hard to know what the “right” thing is. When I pray I pray for my HP to guide me. I think that helps. In this volunteer project I’m working on, I think I’m doing the right thing by keeping my involvement linked to how love shows up.

  10. Adam Avatar
    Adam

    I’m admitting for the first time that I’m an alcoholic. I’ve stopped speaking with someone that is co-dependent with me. Although I care deeply and it hurts, he will not move on until I let go of him. Bless him

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