The Metta Sutta – Living Our Lives with a “Limitless Heart” – Step 4

Two boys arm in arm watching a sunset w/ sfz title

“The third heart practice is loving-kindness, also known as metta. These are thoughts that are free from ill-will, simply wishing that somebody else be happy that they be well and free from suffering.” (Recovery Dharma, pg. 28)

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Toward what areas of your life do you find it difficult to respond with a “limitless heart”, lately?

OR

How can you learn to forgive yourself and others when it still hurts inside?

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The Past and Pending – The Shins (5:10)

Loving the Life You Have (4:15)

Loving Kindness Metta Sutta Meditation (5:56) 

English Analysis

Trauma often anchors us to the past. The Basic Text tells us we must acknowledge past abuse, but not live in it. The line “Though painful and sad, the past cannot be changed” asserts a crucial truth. Viktor Frankl, in Man’s Search for Meaning, argued that suffering becomes bearable when it holds purpose. Healing, then, begins with heart felt acceptance. We move forward by detaching from shame, without denying what shaped us.

The 12 & 12 emphasizes perspective. We often see our flaws as singular and shameful. But mutual honesty levels the field. A sponsor’s vulnerability, without showiness, invites trust and relief. Carl Rogers, the humanist psychologist, believed people thrive in conditions of unconditional positive regard. The sponsor’s calm confession provides such a space. It lets others feel human again, despite past failures.

The Metta Sutta lifts the discussion to a higher plane. Here, love becomes an intentional practice. Cultivating a “limitless heart” invites compassion toward all beings, even ourselves. bell hooks, in All About Love, insists that love is a choice to extend oneself. The Buddha’s teaching echoes this. We protect others not through control, but by radiating boundless goodwill.

In sum, today’s SFZ shows us a path: accept the past, build perspective, and choose compassion. Recovery is not just personal; it is relational and cosmic.


Traducción de las citas de SFZ al español:

Algunas de nosotras fuimos abusadas. Tal vez fuimos víctimas de incesto o violación. Tal vez tuvimos infancias terribles llenas de privación y negligencia. Experiencias como estas pueden habernos llevado a infligir el mismo abuso a otros. Aunque doloroso y triste, el pasado no se puede cambiar.

… sus defectos de carácter probablemente no sean más numerosos ni peores que los de cualquier otra persona en A.A. Esto lo demuestra el padrino hablando libre y fácilmente, y sin exhibicionismo, sobre sus propios defectos, pasados y presentes. Este balance tranquilo pero realista resulta inmensamente tranquilizador.

Así como una madre arriesgaría su vida para proteger a su hijo, su único hijo, así uno debería cultivar un corazón sin límites hacia todos los seres. Con buena voluntad hacia todo el cosmos, cultiva un corazón sin límites… Esto se llama una morada sublime aquí y ahora.


Análisis en español:

El trauma a menudo nos ata al pasado. El Texto Básico nos dice que debemos reconocer el abuso, pero no vivir en él. La frase “aunque doloroso y triste, el pasado no se puede cambiar” afirma una verdad esencial. Viktor Frankl, en El hombre en busca de sentido, argumentó que el sufrimiento se soporta cuando tiene propósito. La sanación comienza con la aceptación. Avanzamos al soltar la vergüenza, sin negar lo que nos formó.

El 12 y 12 enfatiza la perspectiva. Solemos ver nuestros defectos como únicos y vergonzosos. Pero la honestidad mutua equilibra el campo. La vulnerabilidad del padrino, sin dramatismo, genera confianza y alivio. Carl Rogers, psicólogo humanista, creía que las personas prosperan con aceptación incondicional. La confesión tranquila del padrino ofrece ese espacio. Nos permite sentirnos humanos otra vez, a pesar de los errores del pasado.

El Metta Sutta eleva el mensaje a un plano superior. Aquí, el amor se convierte en una práctica intencional. Cultivar un “corazón sin límites” invita a la compasión hacia todos, incluso hacia nosotros mismos. bell hooks, en Todo sobre el amor, insiste en que amar es una elección de extenderse hacia el otro. La enseñanza de Buda resuena con esto. Protegemos no con control, sino con buena voluntad sin límites.

Juntas, estas enseñanzas nos muestran un camino: aceptar el pasado, construir perspectiva y elegir la compasión. La recuperación no es solo personal; es relacional y cósmica.

¿Cómo puedes aprender a perdonarte a ti mismo y a los demás cuando todavía duele por dentro?

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Comments

12 responses to “The Metta Sutta – Living Our Lives with a “Limitless Heart” – Step 4”

  1. Eli🌱🫶🏾🫡🪱 Avatar
    Eli🌱🫶🏾🫡🪱

    I find it hard to express a limitless heart towards people who hold power over others. To do harm, directly or indirectly, and not need to take accountability. Hanif comes to mind “…to not answer for the blood on your palms/until the gates of heaven ask/for the history of your hands…” Regardless of one’s internal state, harm and control are a privilege. Neither desirable, depending on who you are, but still a privilege.

  2. Sabrina J Avatar
    Sabrina J

    How can I move forward in life without forgiveness? We all have emotions which include hurt. I can and feed it, or I can hurt and heal it. Seeing hurt, acknowledging it and then letting it go heals me and sets me free.

    Thank you for recovering with me. Grateful.

  3. Elexi W.S.A. (they, them, you, their) Avatar

    Somethings like death threats I don’t think I can have a limitless heart ever or learn to forgive after multiple death threats throughout my life. Can someone really change such a threatening sick behavior. Then whomever made these sick drugs for people on the street is hard to forgive too, especially with everything going on these days. It’s just how sick can someone be to threaten someone as good as me with good intent, who has also experienced so much hardship. People seem to be too own centered all the time to me, and the only way I feel I can free me from sickos is to caste them out and banish them at this point for my own safety and good being, and also other’s safety.

  4. Ari L Avatar
    Ari L

    Spending everyday to breathe through the discomfort. As hard as it is, sitting with it and allowing it to pass through me is my best way. It’s cathartic to feel it and release it.

  5. Rose Avatar
    Rose

    To have a “limitless heart” in most scenarios, is almost impossible because while we as humans are taught to treat all with love and care, we are also human. We can have selfish impulsives, can make mistakes, and we struggle because we are not perfect. This is where I feel that I have failed in having a “limitless heart” – giving myself the benefit of the doubt for every mistake I make because I am human. I berate myself with thoughts of “I should have been better” or “I should have done this differently”, forgetting that while I give others my “limitless heart”, I refuse to give it to myself, even when it is mine.

  6. sarahi Avatar
    sarahi

    everyone has a wonderful day love yourself and stay on the moment god bless you all

  7. Simon Yebio Avatar
    Simon Yebio

    I find it difficult at my job to deal with residents who continuously have no regard for me as a person in general and look at me as a quote-unquote staff member.

  8. Br. Buddha Avatar
    Br. Buddha

    Good morning everyone + happy Thursday. Here is today’s thought. In the Third Step, we turn our will + our lives over to the care of our Higher Power. Let God guide you. Sometimes we have to act as if, but the results of our trust in God will be great if our own house is in order. Make good your trust in him. Blessings. BB

  9. Jon G. Avatar
    Jon G.

    Today’s discussion brought up a lot of feelings for me. I have often said that the three most reassuring words in the program are “yeah…me too.” There is something very comforting in hearing that someone else has felt the same way as I or has done something very similar. Learning that I am not alone takes away a lot of the power of something negative in my past.

    I also identified with repeating the same things that I swore as a child I would never do. My father was absent for most of my life. Presently, because of my addiction I am an absent father to my children who live 2,000 miles away. It is a very difficult fact to accept in my life but I have to accept it in order to try and change it.

  10. Adam Avatar
    Adam

    I can’t really figure out a pattern, but there are some people I open up to right away and some that I may never. I know if someone doesn’t smile, laugh, or something to indicate they are human when I meet them, or shortly after, they can forget it. I haven’t spent a lot of time analyzing it otherwise.

  11. JB jr. Avatar
    JB jr.

    On Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab, the red heaeded counselor said, “you don’t have to let the past dictate the future.” They had to say it three times and in different ways to get one of the clients to sorta get it. I still have to hear it over and over again because sometimes I trapped into thinking the past has to be a part of my relationships today.

    Some things from the past are hard to let go but let go we must.

  12. brita Avatar
    brita

    I notice it’s my self will that stops my limitless heart dead in its tracks. That’s when I don’t really know how to open up again.

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