Author: Bodhi Baba

CONDUCTED IN “A SPIRIT OF SELF-LOVE & HEALING” – “Usually there is one person whom we have inflicted the greatest damage – ourselves.” “So … most of us need to write our own name.” “… [U]ntil we can take this Step in a spirit of self-love and healing, we may not be ready for it.” (How Al Anon Works, pp. 58- 59 on being harmed)

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In what ways have you caused ‘self-inflicted wounds’, lately?

OR

Why is it important to forgive ourselves before we try to help or lead others?

What Does the Fox Say – Dear Ryan (2:28)

Quotes from the novel -Tuesdays w/ Morrie (3:40) 

The Indigenous People of America (41:18)

In what ways have you caused ‘self-inflicted wounds’, lately?

“If your act-
ions inspire oth-
ers to dream more,
learn more, do more
and become more,
you are a lea-
der.”

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Featured Comment by Adam ::: “I often help clean up after meetings. Chairs away, etc. Washed coffee cups a few nights ago. I always put at least $2 in the basket, one for me and one for someone who can’t pay. I tip well outside of AA every day.”

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Question ::: How have you been able to be of service to others, lately?

Featured Comment:::… “Most of my service lately has been staying late at work helping people who did not request it. They were very appreciative which felt good. I did listen to someone after a meeting the other night that was dealing with a lot of bad stuff.” – Adam

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QUESTION ::: What are some of the behaviors, marked by insanity, would you like to see restored to sanity?

Featured Comment ::: “When I have negative thoughts I follow them and I let them carry me through that continuous cycle of one negative thought after another. When I started thinking of politics this morning I realized how angry that makes me and I sit in it like a fly on you know what. I’d also like to learn how to drink 1 cup of coffee once in a while and not like 4. This just really affects my nerves and doesn’t help my sobriety at all. And it is just lovely that every fricken meeting has a huge coffee pot. Like that is supposed to help.” – Adam

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Question:::  What would looking in the same direction of your own Loving Higher Power look like for you?

Featured Comment by Jon G. ::: “Looking in the same direction of my loving higher power would involve constantly and vigilantly lookin’ for opportunities to get out of myself and be of service to others. Just as my higher power is always there to be of service to me I too have to always be willing to be or service to his other children.”

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Question :::…  How have you demonstrated forgiveness lately?

“He who
is devoid of
the power to for-
give, is devoid
of the power
to love.”

– Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (1928- 1968) Afro- American civil rights leader

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Question:::… In what ways have you attempted to manipulate or control the actions of others for your own personal needs, lately?

Featured Comment by Adam ::: “I will think someone is trying to get in front of me while driving when it wasn’t their turn. So I will edge up further as a way of telling them to not even go there. I had someone wanting me to do something on the weekend that I didn’t want to do. I could tell they were going to ask, so I mentioned my previous plans before they could. At work I know how staff who do not report to me will behave in a certain circumstance, so I set it up so the outcome is how I want it to be. I have to look at each of these situations and make an ethical decision as to what is acceptable and why. I’m not so sure trying to influence other people’s behavior is always wrong. Everyone does do it to a certain level whether they admit it or not.”

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The Way We Were – Beyonce (3:41)

Henry Miller on Non-striving (4:07)

Soaring Acceptance Guided Nature Meditation (8:56)

Today’s SFZ explores how the drive to help others can become toxic when fueled by control rather than compassion. Step Two of recovery invites us to examine the real motives behind our so-called “heroic efforts.” As Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (12 & 12) points out, our concern often masks an attempt to control others. Worry becomes manipulation. Anxiety becomes a cover for avoiding our own unmet needs. Psychologist Carl Jung noted that what we resist persists. When we resist facing ourselves, we shift focus to controlling others instead.

Life with Hope emphasizes the inevitable backlash of such behavior. When we impose our will, others resist. This leads to conflict, hurt, and a false sense of persecution. We double down on control, and our suffering worsens. Albert Ellis, founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, would argue that such behavior stems from irrational beliefs, chiefly, the belief that others must act in ways that suit us. When they don’t, we feel threatened and react with more control.

Henry Miller’s reflection on acceptance reminds us that peace begins with restraint. The wisdom to “keep our hands off” others’ lives is a form of mature humility. Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist, taught that true freedom lies in choosing our response. When we choose acceptance over manipulation, we reclaim that freedom.

Ultimately, the lesson is this: effective care for others begins with care for ourselves. Control breeds chaos. Acceptance, born of necessity and honesty, brings peace — first within, then beyond.

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