Take a Deep Breath cuz “The Number One Offender” is on Its Way – Step 4

Sperm Whale and Freediver w/ sfz title

“Holding on to anger, resentment, and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache, and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth.”

– Joan Lunden (1950 – ) U.S. television personality

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Why is resentment the “number one offender” according to today’s SFZ?

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What happens when you forgive someone you stayed mad at for too long?

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Resentment – Beyonce (6:40)

Releasing Anger (7:02)

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ENGLISH ANALYSIS

In The Big Book, resentment takes center stage as a silent destroyer. Bill W. calls it the “number one offender.” This phrase echoes Friedrich Nietzsche’s ideas in Thus Spoke Zarathustra. Nietzsche warned that hidden bitterness poisons the soul’s growth. Resentment breeds a cycle of blame and self-harm.

It Works, How & Why expands this idea. It urges us to list resentments. Carl Jung would approve. In Modern Man in Search of a Soul, Jung claims we must name our shadows. Naming these feelings lessens their power. By confronting our grudges, we break their hold.

Joan Lunden’s quote shifts to the body. She notes anger and hurt tense our muscles and jaws. The body holds grudges, too. Eckhart Tolle, in The Power of Now, shows how pain bodies cling to old wounds. Forgiveness, Lunden says, releases that tension. We regain laughter and lightness.

Today’s SFZ weaves a clear lesson. Resentment corrupts our spirit, our mind, and our body. Self-inquiry, as Jung suggests, helps us face it. Releasing it, as Lunden encourages, frees us to live. Nietzsche’s warning stands as truth: buried bitterness breeds decay.

When we breathe, forgive, and make our list, we choose health. We reclaim our strength from old grudges. Spiritual freedom grows when we let go.


SFZ QUOTE TRANSLATIONS

Toma un respiro profundo porque “El Ofensor Número Uno” está en camino – Paso 4

LA CAUSA DE LA ENFERMEDAD ESPIRITUAL –

“El resentimiento es el ‘ofensor número uno’. Destruye a más alcohólicos que cualquier otra cosa. De él surgen todas las formas de enfermedad espiritual, pues hemos estado no solo mental y físicamente enfermos, sino espiritualmente enfermos.” (El Libro Grande, p. 64)

HACIENDO UNA LISTA –

“Hacemos una lista de nuestros resentimientos, pues a menudo juegan un papel grande en hacer nuestra recuperación incómoda. No podemos permitirnos obsesionarnos con la hostilidad hacia otros.” (Funciona, Cómo y Por Qué, p. 30)

“Sostener la ira, el resentimiento y el dolor solo te da músculos tensos, dolor de cabeza y una mandíbula adolorida de apretar los dientes. El perdón te devuelve la risa y la ligereza en tu vida.”

  • Joan Lunden (1950 – ), personalidad de televisión estadounidense

SPANISH ANALYSIS AND QUESTION

En El Libro Grande, el resentimiento es un destructor silencioso. Bill W. lo llama el “ofensor número uno”. Esta frase refleja la idea de Friedrich Nietzsche en Así Habló Zaratustra. Nietzsche advirtió que la amargura escondida envenena el crecimiento del alma. El resentimiento alimenta un ciclo de culpa y autodaño.

Funciona, Cómo y Por Qué amplía esta idea. Nos anima a hacer una lista de resentimientos. Carl Jung estaría de acuerdo. En El Hombre Moderno en Busca de un Alma, Jung dice que debemos nombrar nuestra sombra. Nombrar estos sentimientos reduce su poder. Al enfrentar nuestros rencores, rompemos su control.

La cita de Joan Lunden pasa al cuerpo. Ella nota que la ira y el dolor tensan nuestros músculos y mandíbula. El cuerpo también guarda rencores. Eckhart Tolle, en El Poder del Ahora, muestra cómo el cuerpo del dolor se aferra a viejas heridas. Lunden dice que el perdón libera esa tensión. Recuperamos la risa y la ligereza.

Estas tres ideas nos dejan una lección clara. El resentimiento corrompe espíritu, mente y cuerpo. La autoindagación, como dice Jung, nos ayuda a enfrentarlo. Soltarlo, como anima Lunden, nos libera para vivir. La advertencia de Nietzsche sigue vigente: la amargura enterrada produce decadencia.

Cuando respiramos, perdonamos y hacemos nuestra lista, elegimos la salud. Recuperamos nuestra fuerza de viejos rencores. La libertad espiritual crece cuando soltamos.

¿Qué pasa cuando perdonas a alguien por quien estuviste enojado mucho tiempo?

Zonr pod on resentment

 

Comments

11 responses to “Take a Deep Breath cuz “The Number One Offender” is on Its Way – Step 4”

  1. Ari L Avatar
    Ari L

    Having resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to be hurt by it. At least, I’m paraphrasing a quote I’ve heard before in the rooms, and that has given me the most perspective about it personally.

  2. E-Dawg Avatar
    E-Dawg

    It is absolutely the silent killer. It’s just another excuse to go out and just say F that person. If I don’t talk to my sponsor about it or if I don’t write about it it becomes a pressure cooker. If it’s a personal issue I’ll take it directly to that person to figure out a solution. If that does not work that is precisely where the steps come in…

  3. Sabrina J Avatar
    Sabrina J

    Resentments dig in deep and become forgotten until poked. Letting them go is a process of healing, on top of healing,with more continued healing. They start with Expectations, and then turn into resentments. For me, I like to scan my body and discover where I am holding on, where I am tight. And I like to say a prayer, God help me release this resentment to the light amen.

    Thank you for sharing my recovery. I am Grateful.

  4. Jim Avatar
    Jim

    Having just completed a 5th step in this sobriety I think politics is it on top of my list. The key factor to my peace today is having let go and acceptance.

  5. Margo Avatar
    Margo

    Thank you for your wisdom, Jon G. Oh No! More stuff to think about. My brand of justice is probably not the same as another person’s so I find myself saying that old prayer: “Not my will but thine be done.” I hope to keep enough prayer and gratitude around me to recognize resentments – either that or I can just ask my daughter-in-law…Just kidding, Caro! Stay blessed and beautiful!

  6. Br. Buddha Avatar
    Br. Buddha

    Good morning everyone + happy Friday. Here is today’s thought. Sometimes I fail; sometimes I get resentful; sometimes I just loose it. But when this happens, I find a quiet place + ask God to help me. It’s so good to know that I can ALWAYS go back to God. So can you. Blessings. B

  7. Jon G. Avatar
    Jon G.

    This topic is particularly appropriate in my life right now because I am working on my fourth step and one resentment in particular is giving me a lot of gried and holding me back. Before I never realized how resentful I was or how much my resentments were holding me back. I did not pay head to the warning that resentments were the number one offender or that they killed more alcoholics then anything else–I thought alcohol killed more alcoholics then anything else. I now take resentments very seriously and am doing everything in my power to rid myself of them. I also now realized that forgiveness is huge and more importantly it is I who benefit when I forgive someone rather than the person I am forgiving. That being said, it can be a long journey from the head to the heart and I have a lot of room to grow in this area.

  8. Adam Avatar
    Adam

    An old friend strung out on meth told me to f*** off when I told him not to contact me any more. He doesn’t remember the $2000 I lent him to try to save his home. I am trying to forgive him. It isn’t the money itself but that he doesn’t even remember, and that he said that to me. And that he forced me to have to cut ties with him. I have to keep reminding myself that it is his addiction that did this and pray for him as Margot said she does.

  9. JB jr. Avatar
    JB jr.

    Its harder for me to hold resentments when I see everyone as “childs of God”. As children we are bound to be imperfect. And yet there is still something precious and infinitely valuable each of brings to the world.

  10. Margot E. Avatar
    Margot E.

    I consider myself a person who craves justice. But the key questions have become: justice for whom and justice at what cost? Thank God I am learning to pray for those against whom I nurture a grudge – a resentment. It is a miracle how soon a resentment can go away once I start praying for so much good stuff for others.

    1. Jon G. Avatar
      Jon G.

      Be careful about praying for justice. I always listed “just” as a trait I wanted my higher power to have when my sponsor suggested I make a list of all the traits I want my God to have. I now realize that I pray I don’t end up getting what I deserve and I now pray for grace not justice.

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