Why It’s So Vital that We Speak about Our Shame & Mistakes Aloud to Someone We Trust – Step 5

Dude in a hoodie covering his face and holding his hand out to stop others from looking w/ sfz title

From The Projector – “I spoke with my sponsor and a therapist. I had to speak about how ashamed of going back to my social circle.. it is so embarrassing at this point because im new again.” (On being ashamed)

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What mistakes have you been ashamed to admit, lately?

OR

What’s something you’ve been keeping inside that you could talk about with someone you trust?

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Shame – Evelyn “Champagne” King (6:24)

Let the Sunshine In – the movie version of Hair  un-ashamed (5:41)

Sunshine Adagio Meditation in D minor (3:40)

ANALYSIS

In The Basic Text, we read that character defects “grow in the dark and die in the light.” This idea echoes Carl Jung’s belief in confronting our shadow selves. Jung insisted that ignoring the hidden parts of ourselves leads to harm. When we share our shame with someone trustworthy, we expose the roots of suffering. That exposure allows healing. We speak our truths into light, and shame begins to shrink.

The second passage from Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions shows how hard it is to be honest with others. It suggests talking to God is easier than being vulnerable with people. Brené Brown, a leading voice on shame and vulnerability, agrees. In Daring Greatly, she says shame only survives when we keep it secret. Yet once we speak it aloud, it loses power. Step 5 urges us to speak our truths, not just think them. Until we do, real change stays out of reach.

Confucius offers a timeless reminder: “Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.” When we hide our flaws, they grow heavier. By speaking them, we break their grip. Confucius believed that honesty builds character. Step 5, in this way, becomes not just confession but transformation.

We heal through trusted connection, not isolation. Words, once buried, must rise to the surface. Growth happens when we choose truth over fear, voice over silence.


TRADUCCIÓN AL ESPAÑOL

Citas de SFZ

DEJA ENTRAR LA LUZ DEL SOL
“Sería trágico escribir todo [nuestro inventario] y luego meterlo en un cajón.
Estos defectos crecen en la oscuridad y mueren en la luz de la exposición.”
(El Texto Básico, p. 32)

LIMPIEZA DE PRIMAVERA DE RODILLAS
“De alguna manera, estar a solas con Dios no parece tan embarazoso como enfrentarse a otra persona.
Hasta que realmente nos sentamos y hablamos en voz alta sobre lo que tanto tiempo hemos escondido,
nuestra disposición a limpiar la casa sigue siendo mayormente teórica.”
(12 y 12, p. 52)

“No te avergüences de los errores y así los conviertas en crímenes.”
— Confucio (551 a.C. – 479 a.C.)


Análisis (Español)

En El Texto Básico, se dice que los defectos “crecen en la oscuridad y mueren en la luz.” Esta idea refleja la teoría de Carl Jung sobre la “sombra.” Jung creía que ignorar nuestros lados ocultos causa daño. Cuando compartimos nuestra vergüenza con alguien de confianza, comenzamos a sanar. La exposición nos libera.

La segunda cita de Doce Pasos y Doce Tradiciones muestra la dificultad de ser sinceros con otros. Hablar con Dios parece más fácil que ser vulnerables. Brené Brown, autora de El Poder de la Vulnerabilidad, dice que la vergüenza vive en el silencio. Pero cuando hablamos, pierde fuerza. El Paso 5 no es solo pensar, es hablar. Hasta que lo hagamos, el cambio no es real.

Confucio nos recuerda: “No te avergüences de los errores y así los conviertas en crímenes.” Esconder nuestras fallas las hace peores. Hablar de ellas rompe su poder. Para Confucio, la honestidad forma carácter. El Paso 5 es confesión, pero también transformación.

Sanamos al conectarnos, no al aislarnos. Las palabras escondidas deben salir. Crecemos cuando elegimos la verdad sobre el miedo.


Pregunta

¿Qué cosa que llevas guardada podrías contarle a alguien en quien confías?

Zonr pod on shame

Comments

6 responses to “Why It’s So Vital that We Speak about Our Shame & Mistakes Aloud to Someone We Trust – Step 5”

  1. Elexi W.S.A. Avatar

    What mistakes have I been ashamed to admit, lately? And/or what’s something I’ve been keepin’ inside that I could talk about with someone I trust?
    I don’t think I make mistakes, I do have to mention pronouns though, I did brush up with that some more. My goals in respect, cordiality, and not easily tempered have made me not feel like there’s too many mistakes I make, any I see, I do brush up on. There’s always room for good growth.

  2. Heartbroken Avatar
    Heartbroken

    Some mistakes that I have been ashamed to admit lately is my codependency and attachment in my (previous) romantic relationship. My ability to respect their boundaries of needing space when I’m scared of being abandoned all together.

  3. Bodhi Baba Avatar
    Bodhi Baba

    sdsdf

  4. Sabrina J Avatar
    Sabrina J

    There are no mistakes that I am proud of, yet I work to understand them, accept myself, and most importantly not repeat them. A mistake repeated is a choice. A mistake learned from is growth. With the progress of humility and acceptance that I am not, nor need to be, perfect, mistakes are learning opportunities.

  5. E-Dawg Avatar
    E-Dawg

    That’s exactly why I have a sponsor. A sponsor is somebody I can trust. Someone I can share my inventory with I guess one thing that’s been on my mind lately that I’ve been a little ashamed of is not sharing my faith like I could. I’ve never really liked saying the higher power thing it’s time to stop being ashamed and call him who he is…GOD!!

  6. The projector Avatar
    The projector

    I spoke with my sponsor and a therapist . I had speak about how ashme of going back to my social circle.. it is so embarrassing at this point because im new again.
    But I’m getting more omfortable acepting that i have work to do on myself and do mot deviate from my main goal right now which is staying sober..

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