“When you burn a bridge sometimes — it doesn’t matter if it’s a significant player on a team, especially a significant player like Kobe — you might say let bygones be bygones, (but) there’s always that underlying, ‘Oh, you talked about me.’ Me personally, I don’t think it’ll work out. But who knows? Crazier things have happened.” – Robert Horry (1970 – ) U.S. Laker star basketball player
“We want to be proud of ourselves and feel at peace with our behavior, yet we are increasingly embarrassed at what we find ourselves saying and doing. These actions, attitudes and habits do not reflect the person we are striving to become.”(How Al Anon Works,p. 55) “Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves; vanity, to what we would have others think of us.” – Jane Austen (1775 – 1817) English novelist and social commentator
When has pride and vanity prevented you from doing what you know to be right, lately?
A Poem for Pulse
BY JAMESON FITZPATRICK
Last night, I went to a gay bar
with a man I love a little.
After dinner, we had a drink.
We sat in the far-back of the big backyard
and he asked, What will we do when this place closes?
I don’t think it’s going anywhere any time soon, I said,
though the crowd was slow for a Saturday,
and he said—Yes, but one day. Where will we go?
He walked me the half-block home
and kissed me goodnight on my stoop—
properly: not too quick, close enough
our stomachs pressed together
in a second sort of kiss.
I live next to a bar that’s not a gay bar
—we just call those bars, I guess—
and because it is popular
and because I live on a busy street,
there are always people who aren’t queer people
on the sidewalk on weekend nights.
Just people, I guess.
They were there last night.
As I kissed this man I was aware of them watching
and of myself wondering whether or not they were just.
But I didn’t let myself feel scared, I kissed him
exactly as I wanted to, as I would have without an audience,
because I decided many years ago to refuse this fear—
an act of resistance. I left
the idea of hate out on the stoop and went inside,
to sleep, early and drunk and happy.
While I slept, a man went to a gay club
with two guns and killed forty-nine people.
Today in an interview, his father said he had been disturbed
recently by the sight of two men kissing.
What a strange power to be cursed with:
for the proof of men’s desire to move men to violence.
What’s a single kiss? I’ve had kisses
no one has ever known about, so many
kisses without consequence—
but there is a place you can’t outrun,
whoever you are.
There will be a time when.
It might be a bullet, suddenly.
The sound of it. Many.
One man, two guns, fifty dead—
Two men kissing. Last night
I can’t get away from, imagining it, them,
the people there to dance and laugh and drink,
who didn’t believe they’d die, who couldn’t have.
How else can you have a good time?
How else can you live?
There must have been two men kissing
for the first time last night, and for the last,
and two women, too, and two people who were neither.
Brown people, which cannot be a coincidence in this country
which is a racist country, which is gun country.
Today I’m thinking of the Bernie Boston photograph
Flower Power, of the Vietnam protestor placing carnations
in the rifles of the National Guard,
and wishing for a gesture as queer and simple.
The protester in the photo was gay, you know,
he went by Hibiscus and died of AIDS,
which I am also thinking about today because
(the government’s response to) AIDS was a hate crime.
Now we have a president who names us,
the big and imperfectly lettered us, and here we are
getting kissed on stoops, getting married some of us,
some of us getting killed.
We must love one another whether or not we die.
Love can’t block a bullet
but neither can it be shot down,
and love is, for the most part, what makes us—
in Orlando and in Brooklyn and in Kabul.
We will be everywhere, always;
there’s nowhere else for us, or you, to go.
Anywhere you run in this world, love will be there to greet you.
Around any corner, there might be two men. Kissing.
“The process of the Seventh Step brings about a peace of mind that we never dreamed possible. We sense that what is present throughout our search for spiritual growth is our ability to feel our Higher Power’s love for us.” “It doesn’t matter that we will not attain a state of perfection or complete humility in our life-time.” (It Works, How & Why, p. 53) “Affirm divine calmness and peace, and send out only thoughts of love and goodwill if you want to live in peace and harmony. Never get angry, for anger poisons your system.” – Paramahansa Yogananda (1893 – 1953) renowned Bengali Yogi
What have you done to achieve “peace and harmony”, lately?
Peace XVIII
by Khalil Gibran
The tempest calmed after bending the branches of the trees and leaning heavily upon the grain in the field. The stars appeared as broken remnants of lightning. But now silence prevailed overall as if Nature’s war had never been fought.
At that hour a young woman entered her chamber and knelt by her bed sobbing bitterly. Her heart flamed with agony. But she could finally open her lips and say, “Oh Lord, bring him home safely to me. I have exhausted my tears and can offer no more, oh Lord, full of love and mercy. My patience is drained and calamity is seeking possession of my heart. Save him, oh Lord, from the iron paws of War; deliver him from such unmerciful Death, for he is weak, governed by the strong. Oh Lord, save my beloved, who is Thine own son, from the foe, who is Thy foe. Keep him from the forced pathway to Death’s door; let him see me, or come and take me to him.”
Quietly a young man entered.
He wrapped head in a bandage soaked with escaping life.
So he approached her with a greeting of tears and laughter, then took her hand and placed against it his flaming lips. And with a voice which bespoke past sorrow, and joy of union. And uncertainty of her reaction, he said, “Fear me not, for I am the object of your plea. Be glad, for Peace has carried me back safely to you, and humanity has restored what greed essayed to take from us. And be not sad. But smile, my beloved. Do not express bewilderment. For Love has a power that dispels Death; a charm that conquers the enemy. I am your one. Think me not a specter emerging from the House of Death to visit your Home of Beauty.
“Do not be frightened, for I am now Truth, spared from swords and fire to reveal to the people the triumph of Love over War. I am Word uttering introduction to the play of happiness and peace.”
Then the young man became speechless and his tears spoke the language of the heart, and the angels of Joy hovered about that dwelling, and the two hearts restored the singleness which had been taken from them.
At dawn, the two stood in the middle of the field contemplating the beauty of Nature injured by the tempest. After a deep and comforting silence, the soldier said to his sweetheart, “Look at the Darkness, giving birth to the Sun.”
OLD-TIMEY WISDOM – “Theirs is the quiet opinion, the sure knowledge and humble example that resolve a crisis.” “[T]hey lead by example. This is the experience which has led us to the conclusion that our group conscience, well-advised by its elders, will be in the long run wiser than any single leader.” (12 & 12, p. 135)
“Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is a nobler art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of nonessentials.” Lin Yutang (1895 – 1976) writer & inventor of the 1st Chinese typewriter
When has the wisdom of the group conscience been evident in your journey, lately?
What Is an Informed A.A. Group Conscience?
The group conscience is the collective conscience of the
group membership and thus represents substantial unanimity on an issue before
definitive action is taken. This is achieved by the
group members through the sharing of full information,
individual points of view, and the practice
of A.A. principles. To be fully informed requires a
willingness to listen to minority opinions with an
open mind.
…
On sensitive issues, the group works slowly —
discouraging formal motions until a clear sense of
its collective view emerges. Placing principles before
personalities, the membership is wary of dominant
opinions. Its voice is heard when a well-informed
group arrives at a decision. The result rests on more
than a “yes” or “no” count — precisely because it
is the spiritual expression of the group conscience.
The term “informed group conscience” implies that
pertinent information has been studied and all views
have been heard before the group votes. (https://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-16_theaagroup.pdf)
“With this faith we
will be able to hew out
of the mountain of despair
a stone of hope. With this
faith we will be able to trans-
form the jangling discords of
our nation into a beautiful
symphony of brotherhood.
… knowing that we will
be free one day.”
Martin Luther King Jr. (1929 – 1968) “I Have a Dream” speech (1963)
How have you contributed to the betterment of the human condition, lately?
A Mountain Storm
by Katharine Lee Bates
Our blue sierras shone serene, sublime,
When ghostly shapes came crowding up the air,
Shadowing the landscape with some vast despair;
And all was changed as in weird pantomime,
Transfigured into vague, fantastic form
By that tremendous carnival of storm.
Pilgrim processions of bowed trees that climb
To sacred summits, in the clashing hail
Shuddered like flagellants beneath the flail.
Most gracious hills, in that tempestuous time,
…
Went wild as angered bulls, with bellowing cry
And goring horns that strove to charge the sky.
Masses of rock, long gnawed by stealthy rime,
With sudden roar that made our bravest blanch,
Came volleying down in fatal avalanche.
All nature seemed convulsed in some fierce crime,
And then a rainbow, and behold! the sun
Went comforting the harebells one by one;
And all was still save for the vesper chime
From far, faint belfry bathed in creamy light,
And the soft footfalls of the coming night.
WERE YOU READY IN YOUR YOUTH? “We have a right to expect more from life than mere survival. [W]e are here because we are ready to heal. [W]e are ready to look at ourselves and our lives with new eyes. We are ready to become aware.” (How Al Anon Works, p. 26)
“If every day is an awakening, you will never grow old. You will just keep growing.” – Gail Sheehy (1937 – ) U.S. author and Hilary Clinton biographer
What have you done lately to keep your spiritual awakening youthful, fresh and renewed?
The Story of The Prodigal Son
There was a very rich person. He had two sons. The first son was hard working. He always obeyed his father. He was very good and nice person. But the second son was totally different from the first son. He was lazy. Did not work in his father’s field. He was disobedient to his father. He wanted to lead a gay and free life.
One day, the younger son said to his father. “Father, give me my share of the property.” The father felt very sad. He divided the property. The second son took his share of property. He left home with his share. He went to a distant land. There he made a lot of friends. He spent his property lavishly on his friends, foods and drinks. Had many bad habits too. He wasted all the money. Soon he was left with no money. His friends saw this. They all deserted him one by one.
…
AT that time, there was a famine in that land. He could not get any job. None of his friends gave him food or money. He was forced to take up a very mean job. His job was to feed the pigs. Very often he ate the food kept for the pigs. He was very sad about his present conditions. He soon began to think of his father and his brother. And said to himself, “In my father’s house, even the servants have enough food. They get good shelter too. But here, I am struggling for food and shelter. I will go back to my father. I will beg him to take me as his servant.”
So decided, the prodigal son set out for his father’s house. In the meantime, his father was always thinking of his second son. He would sit near the windows. He would look out at the road, expecting his son to return home.
One day his father saw his son coming at a distance. He ran out of his house in great joy. He met his son on the way. His son knelt down. He said, “Father, I am not fit to be your son. Take me as your servant.”
…
His father lifted his lovingly. He embraced him. Turned to his servants. He said, “Bring the best robe. Put it on my son. Put a ring on his fingers and shoes on his feet. Kill the fatted calf. Prepare a feast. Let us eat and enjoy. My son was lost. Now he is fount.”
The elder son was returning from his work. He heard the sound of the music and dancing from his house. He asked one of his servants about it. His servant told his, “Your brother has come. Your father is rejoicing at his return. A fatted calf has been killed to prepare for a delicious feast and the celebration.”
…
The first son was angry. He refused to enter his house. The father came out. He begged his elder son to come in for rejoicing. The elder son said, “I have obeyed you all these years. I have done all your works. But you never gave me even a kid to enjoy with my friends. This son wasted all your money and property. And you order a fatted calf for him!”
His father replied, “My dear son, you are always with me. All my property is yours. Your younger brother was dead. Now he is alive. He was lost. Now he is found. Therefore should we not rejoice?”
The elder son understood the love behind the words of his father. He forgot everything about his younger brother. Decided to take part in the celebration. And was happy. (http://www.english-for-students.com/The-Story-of-The-Prodigal-Son.html)
“The moment we catch even a glimpse of God’s will, the moment we begin to see truth, justice, and love as the real and eternal things in life, we are no longer deeply disturbed by all the seeming evidence to the contrary that surrounds us in purely human affairs.” (12 & 12, p. 105)
“If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory.” – William Hazlitt (1778 – 1830) English author
“It doesn’t matter that we will not attain a state of perfection or complete humility in our life- time. The ability to contem– plate this grand vision and meditate upon it are rare and priceless gifts in their
own right. We are being changed.” (It Works, How & Why, p. 53)
YOU CAN CALL IT “A PSYCHIC CHANGE” –
” … once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he de-
spaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself eas-
ily able to control his desire for alcohol, the only effort necessary being that re- quired to follow a few simple rules.” (The
Big Book, p.
xxvii)
“Be the change that you want to see in the world.”
– Mohandas Gandhi (1869 – 1948) India Independence Movement Leader from British rule
What changes have you noticed lately in your own spiritual growth, lately?
A Dish of Ice Cream
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.
“How much is an ice cream sundae?”
“50 cents,” replied the waitress.
The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied a number of coins in it.
“How much is a dish of plain ice cream?” he inquired. Some people were now waiting for a table and the waitress was a bit impatient.
“35 cents,” she said brusquely.
The little boy again counted the coins. “I’ll have the plain ice cream,” he said.
The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and departed.
When the waitress came back, she began wiping down the table and then swallowed hard at what she saw.
There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were 15 cents – her tip.
WHEN I STUMBLED into AA several years ago, I think most of you would have called me a fairly typical newcomer–confused, intolerant, afraid of the future, and ashamed of the past. Although I was one of the lucky ones who manage to stay sober beginning with the first meeting, my program was slow to blossom into the wonderful way of life it has since become. Why?
It seems the alcoholic mind seldom changes quickly, and what Dr. William D. Silkworth calls “an entire psychic change” usually occurs slowly over a period of time. Dr. Carl G. Jung calls this change a “vital spiritual experience,” which he describes as “in the nature of huge emotional displacements and rearrangements.” He goes on to say, “Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begins to dominate them.” Most of these experiences seem to be what the psychologist William James calls the “educational variety,” because they develop slowly–sometimes, as in my case, taking several years.
— T. S.
Bella Vista, Arkansas (http://www.aagrapevine.org/node/8019)
“We don’t have to be religious to accept this idea.” “We began to see evidence of some Power that could not be fully explained. Confronted with this evidence, we began to accept the existence of a Power greater than ourselves. We can use this Power long before we understand it.” (12 & 12, p. 52) “I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.” – Frank Lloyd Wright (1869 – 1959) U. S. architect
In what ways has your own H.P. or even “Nature” made its presence known in your life lately?
I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud
by William Wordsworth
I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.