Red Alert!!! Beware of Entering “The Triangle of Self-Obsession” – Step 8

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“THE TRIANGLE OF SELF-OBSESSION” – “People, places, and things cannot possibly fill the emptiness inside of us, and we react to them with resentment, anger, and fear. Resentment, anger, and fear make up the triangle of self-obsession. All of our defects of character are forms of these three reactions.” (NA Information Pamphlet #12 on being selfish)

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What role has anger, fear or resentment played in your mistakes, lately?

OR

When you feel angry or afraid, how can you stop blaming others and find peace inside yourself?

‘Selfish” PnB Rock (4:32) 

Solzhenitsyn Bio (9:54) 

Recovering from Making Mistakes Guided Meditation (3:15)

English Analysis (249 words)

Step Eight’s lesson exposes the illusion of control within the triangle of self-obsession. When we stop blaming others, we uncover the roots of fear and resentment. Carl Jung wrote that “one does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious” (Jung, 1954). Likewise, the Big Book guides us to look for our own mistakes, not others’. This reflection transforms shame into humility.

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn’s insight reminds us that emotional comfort often masks false pride. We chase validation, not understanding, and thus remain trapped. False pride distances us from the guidance of a Higher Power, replacing humility with self-centered fear. The Wellbriety Movement teaches, “Healing happens when we tell the truth about ourselves.” Honesty frees us from the triangle’s corners—resentment, anger, and fear—and reconnects us with integrity.

Moreover, Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning (1959) affirms that purpose grows through responsibility. When we own our part, we reclaim power over reaction. Pain then becomes instruction. Growth requires surrender, not defeat. Through self-inventory, we face the shadow and rediscover balance between spirit and ego.

Ultimately, this step asks for courage—to release illusion and accept imperfection. The reward is clarity and restored peace. As we practice accountability, compassion replaces blame, and understanding replaces judgment. Our relationships then evolve from control to connection, from self-obsession to service.


Traducción al español

Cómo no caer en “El triángulo de la auto-obsesión” – Paso 8

MIRANDO DÓNDE NOS EQUIVOCAMOS –
“Refiriéndonos nuevamente a nuestra [lista de inventario]. Dejando de lado las faltas de los demás, miramos con resolución nuestros propios errores. ¿Dónde fuimos egoístas, deshonestos, interesados y temerosos?” (El Libro Grande, p. 67)

“EL TRIÁNGULO DE LA AUTO-OBSESIÓN” –
“Las personas, lugares y cosas no pueden llenar el vacío interior, y reaccionamos con resentimiento, ira y miedo. El resentimiento, la ira y el miedo forman el triángulo de la auto-obsesión. Todos nuestros defectos de carácter son formas de estas tres reacciones.” (Folleto Informativo de NA #12)

“No es porque la verdad sea demasiado difícil de ver que cometemos errores… los cometemos porque el curso más fácil y cómodo es buscar comprensión donde coincide con nuestras emociones, especialmente las egoístas.”
— Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn (1918– ), escritor ruso por la libertad

Análisis

La lección del Paso Ocho revela la ilusión de control dentro del triángulo de la auto-obsesión. Al dejar de culpar a otros, descubrimos las raíces del miedo y el resentimiento. Carl Jung escribió: “Uno no se ilumina imaginando figuras de luz, sino haciendo consciente la oscuridad” (Jung, 1954). De igual modo, El Libro Grande nos guía a buscar nuestros errores, no los de los demás. Esta reflexión transforma la vergüenza en humildad.

La visión de Solzhenitsyn nos recuerda que la comodidad emocional a menudo oculta el falso orgullo. Buscamos validación, no comprensión, y quedamos atrapados. El falso orgullo nos separa de la guía de un Poder Superior, reemplazando la humildad con miedo egoísta. El Movimiento Wellbriety enseña: “La sanación ocurre cuando decimos la verdad sobre nosotros mismos.” La honestidad nos libera de las esquinas del triángulo —resentimiento, ira y miedo— y nos reconecta con la integridad.

Además, Viktor Frankl en El hombre en busca de sentido (1959) afirma que el propósito crece con la responsabilidad. Cuando asumimos nuestra parte, recuperamos el poder sobre la reacción. El dolor se convierte entonces en enseñanza. Crecer requiere entrega, no derrota.

En última instancia, este paso pide valor para soltar la ilusión y aceptar la imperfección. La recompensa es claridad y paz. Practicar la responsabilidad reemplaza la culpa con compasión y el juicio con entendimiento.

Pregunta:
Cuando te sientes enojado o asustado, ¿cómo puedes dejar de culpar a otros y hallar paz interior?

Zonr pod on selfish

Comments

6 responses to “Red Alert!!! Beware of Entering “The Triangle of Self-Obsession” – Step 8”

  1. Eli🌱🫶🏾🫡🪱 Avatar
    Eli🌱🫶🏾🫡🪱

    Anger is a secondary emotion. Fear is a result of my own insecurities, however justified. I can handle these feelings internally- they are no one else’s responsibility, and no one else can change them for me. I am the one person who controls my inner peace.

  2. Ari L Avatar
    Ari L

    I’ve gotten a lot better with responding instead of reacting but I’ve had an anger problem for most of my life. It’s definately been at the root of many issues and lost friendships for me and the root cause there is reacting instead of thinking the situation and all its consequences through

  3. E-Dawg Avatar
    E-Dawg

    When I’m sober and working a solid program i try not to let anger override being assertive.
    First thing I do is I realize that I cannot change people places or things. I will respectfully go up to that person and discuss what it is that is upsetting me… and that usually takes the power out of the anger it’s usually worked out and in cases where it’s not in this other person’s lack of respect in a congregate living situation, I’ve already given it to God and I am extremely grateful that I have these tools and can move on…next case!

  4. Sabrina J Avatar
    Sabrina J

    For me when something evokes a negative emotional response, I look to see what it is in myself that this mirror is showing me. What character flaw or defect can I work on internally to have a better and healthier external experience. For me it often starts with mindfulness and a willingness to slow down and self reflect.

    Thank you for sharing recovery with me. Grateful.

  5. Lotus W.S.A. Avatar

    I don’t get obsession really, and have been fulliness the word angry with upset. I like to get along with other people peacefully though for preference, and whomever doesn’t like that is wasting valued minds. I realize there’s only so much I can do on my path, and no matter what after all I’ve given to my spirituality defuse to let it go. Sometimes it’s bewildering how we might not feel like our prayers for example are being that answer. A valued mind once said of our own understanding, and I’ve learned to vale that saying so much in wanting to abstain from anything wanting to set me back.

  6. Rose Avatar
    Rose

    Of the three, fear is the one that plays the most dominate role in my life. Fear causes me to be self deprecating to a fault. Fear of public speaking in particular limits how far up in my company I’m willing to go. It’s a shame as people tell me I do great at it, but its very hard and draining as I fear it won’t go well and that people will think less of me. It all stems from the fear of not being accepted for who I really am and that’s someone who makes mistakes, who fails sometimes, who feels inside less confident than I appear outside. This fear of not being accepted robs me of my power to perform at my best and it’s something I wrestle with, almost daily. The older I get the better it gets, but it’s still a shame I let this emotion partly run my life.

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