You are currently viewing Why the “Worst” People, Places & Things that makes Us So Darn Mad – Step 4

Why the “Worst” People, Places & Things that makes Us So Darn Mad – Step 4

“People and things do not upset us, rather we upset ourselves by believing that they can upset us.” – Albert Ellis (1913 – 2007) U.S. psychologist on resentments

Today’s SFZ

What resentments do you hold over people, places or things, lately?

CHASING AWAY THE BOGEYMAN –

” … the testimony of
A.A.’s who have really
tried a moral inventory
is that pride and fear of
this sort turn out to be bogey-
men, nothing else. Once we
have a complete willingness
to take inventory, and ex-
ert ourselves to do the job
thoroughly, a wonderful
light falls upon this
foggy scene.” (12
& 12, p. 49)

A Few of My Favorite Things – Julie Andrews (2:34)

Get Happy in 5 minutes (4:30)

Happiness Hypnosis Hz Meditation (9:29)

The Old Man with The Two Black Dogs : an Arabian Nights story

Long time back, ours was a happy and prosperous family. We were three brothers who loved each other very much. In due time, our old father became very ill. He left for heaven and willed each of us a thousand gold dinars. We were clever so we invested in various shops and soon became well-to-do merchants.

One day my eldest brother had the idea of expanding his trade connections in other kingdoms. He decided to travel to other lands across the sea for this purpose. He then sold all his shops, luxury items and the house to get some money. For buying a variety of goods, he set sail in a beautiful trade ship. Nearly a year went by, but we heard nothing from him.

One afternoon, as I sat fanning myself at the shop, a beggar approached me. He was looking very weak. He was barely covered in tattered clothes. I picked a silver coin from my pocket and gave it to him. Seeing this, the poor beggar burst out in tears.

“Oh! What fate!” he cried bitterly. “A brother is giving another alms in pity.”

I gave him a second look. Suddenly I recognised him to be my eldest brother. I consoled him and took him home. After a warm bath and some delicious hot lunch, my brother told me his sad tale. He said that he could not earn as much as he had invested in his new ventures. The heavy losses had made him poor and he had reached back home with great difficulty. I had by then earned two thousand gold dinars in my business so I gave one thousand gold dinars to my eldest brother. I encouraged him to start a new business.

Some months later, my second brother decided to seek foreign lands to expand his business. I narrated our eldest brother’s example to him but he insisted on going for trading overseas. He soon joined a caravan that was ready to leave for a foreign land. He, too, went with many hopes and a lot of goods. For a year, I heard no news of his business ventures. When a year went by, one fine morning he arrived at my doorstep much in the same state as my elder brother. He told me that his caravan had been looted by bandits and he lost everything.

Once again I lent my thousand dinars to my other brother too. He was happy to begin his business again. Soon both my brothers did well in their ventures and prospered. We lived happily and together again.

One fine morning, both my brothers came to me and said, “Brother, all three of us must go on a long journey to expand our business. We’ll trade together and amass wealth.”

I refused because I had seen my brothers becoming penniless after such adventurous business trips. But they persisted. After refusing their request for nearly five years, I gave in. After making necessary arrangements, the three of us bought grand goods to sell. My brothers spent all their money to buy the goods. I, thus, took six thousand dinars that I had and gave them a thousand dinars each. I kept one thousand dinars for my use. Then I dug a safe hole in my house and buried the three thousand dinars that I was left with. Then we loaded the goods on a large ship and set sail.

Nearly two months after sailing, we anchored at a port. We made a lot of money by trading there. When we got ready to leave, a beautiful but poor woman approached me. She bowed to me and kissed my hand. Then she said, “Sir, please be kind enough to accept me as your wife. I have nobody to care for me and nowhere to stay.”

I was taken aback and said, “Dear woman, I don’t even know you. How can you expect me to marry a stranger?”

The woman pleaded tearfully and persuaded me to take her as my wife. She promised to be loyal and loving and soon we were married after the required arrangements were made.

As we set sail, she took on the role of a caring wife. She was soft-spoken, hard working and always ready to serve me or help my brothers. I was very happy to have her as a wife. My happiness was not favoured by my brothers who grew jealous day by day. Their resentment took shape of a plot to kill me and my wife.

Thus, one night, as my wife and I were in deep sleep, my two brothers threw us aboard. My wife who was a fairy used her powers to save both of us. Soon I found ourselves on an island. Then my wife said, “Dear, I am a fairy. I married you for I saw a kind-hearted man who would be a fit husband for me. You have taken good care of me but I am very hurt and angry at the way your ungrateful brothers have treated you. I’ll punish them by sinking their ship.”

I was horrified. “Please don’t do that. After all they are my brothers. Let’s forgive and forget.” But nothing could stop my angry fairy wife. She declared that her fury would end only after she avenged herself. Then she chanted some magic words! I stood before my house in my hometown. My fairy wife was by my side. I opened the door to welcome her into her new home.  Saw two sinister black dogs just inside the door. I was surprised.

“Dear, I don’t know where these black dogs came from.  Never had any pets either.” I explained.

“I know, dear,” my fairy wife said. “These black dogs are your own ungrateful brothers. I changed them into the black dogs to punish them. Now you can treat them anyway you wish. I must take your leave now. The spell cast by me will last for ten years. You can contact me after that time.”

My fairy wife told me where her home was and vanished into thin air. Now ten years have passed. I am leading the black dogs in search of my fairy wife.

“Now, Oh! Genie, you must not have ever heard of such a wonderous, unbelievable tale. I ask you to grant a third of the merchant’s life in return of this tale.”

The genie agreed again. Then the third old man said, “I’ll tell you a stranger and fantastic story of all.” He then told such a tale full of unbelievable events and wonderous magic that the genie declared to spare a third of the merchant’s punishment. Thus, the genie departed. The merchant and the three men then went on their journeys.

The merchant reached home and was received happily by his family. Then he told the strange tale of how he was freed.

Zonr Logo fellowship resentments

This Post Has 5 Comments

  1. daniel mosqueda

    what upsets me about people that they forget how you was there in there need wether it was money food loan or a ear to listen to them whenever and they cant see there wrong in nothing but yours even you might not even have a part in it they still find u at fault

  2. Adam

    I’m upset I didn’t get the house I was hoping for so I find myself obsessing over it. Angry at my agent for not helping me make the right offer. I just keep reminding myself I have a home now which many don’t have. And to even be able to buy a home is a blessing. Not sure the sting will go away until find another. And then I’m annoyed by every person I run into saying, “well, it just wasn’t meant to be.” Thanks for trying to be helpful. Oh well, I’ll get over it.

  3. Margot E.

    Sometimes I sit in a meeting and feel a giant resentment growing in me. I am learning to just sit with y feelings and know them to be the pretenders they are. They reveal my fear to me. They reveal my own insecurities – my own feelings of being unloved and unlovable. I sometimes go so far as to remember that I have a loving Higher Power and that at all points in time I am exactly where I am supposed to be. When I can put my fear aside, I get to see my own harsh judgment of myself.

  4. brita

    Only from being in AA can I now appreciate the happiness and lightness of the Julie Andrews song. I had to sing it for my first voice class at 13 years old – I was so sad then 🙁 Great song!

    1. Jb jr.

      I was hoping someone would comment on that song. I also like how the video visually plays along with the song. It makes me happy. Demonstrating gratitude for our “favorite things” in song is a lovely way to pick up our mood.

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