“Certain distressing or humiliating memories, we tell ourselves, ought not be shared with anyone. These will remain our secret.” “We hope they’ll go to the grave with us. Yet if [our program’s] experience means anything at all, this is not only unwise, but is actually a perilous resolve.” (12 & 12, p. 56 on keeping secrets)
Dirty Little Secret – All American Rejects (3:15)
A Gift from the Secret Scrolls Meditation (2:36)
Free Tibet Meditation (7:46)
THEY’RE JUST NOT WORTH TAKING TO THE GRAVE –
“Certain distress-
ing or humiliating mem-
ories, we tell ourselves,
ought not be shared with
anyone. These will remain our
secret.” “We hope they’ll go to
the grave with us. Yet if [our
program’s] experience means
anything at all, this is not
only unwise, but is actual-
ly a perilous resolve.”
(12 & 12, p. 56)
FINDING THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE TO TRUST –
“As we share our
most personal feel-
ings and our most care-
fully guarded secrets, we
may experience anguish.
However, many of us have
looked up and seen uncondi-
tional love in the eyes of the
person hearing our Fifth
Step.” “… that moment
helped us to feel a part
of the program.” (It
Works, How & Why,
p. 37)
What does Gibran imply you should do when finding someone with whom to share your secrets?
“[T}hinking about negative things is a bummer. That’s probably true (though it’s worth noting that positive secrets, like surprises, likely work differently). But this study found another reason, one more specific to secrecy.: Thinking of secrets means thinking of things you aren’t being open and honest about in your relationships. Which makes people feel less authentic.” (https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/05/shhhhh/526581/)
I hate the felling of being forced to feel all over again. Id rather let the feeling go
I’ve gone to the extreme both ways regarding secrets. Today I must be neutral in that no ‘secret’ I have should ever be difficult to share with someone in conversation. If it comes up then I dont fight it finishing me off. That is the ego that fights against it. The result usually involves helping someone else.
It is just amazing to me that as I examine my own false pride, the shame associated with certain memories falls away. It’s like the scene in Back to the Future where one of the characters sees himself disappearing from a photograph, the memories lose shame, lose importance, lose their capacity to wring emotion from me. So much of my shame springs from not wanting to appear foolish or less than. I have to consciously discard false pride moment by moment, and, that allows me to be free. Namaste.