“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main;” – John Donne (1572 – 1631) English poet (on self-obsession)
– Sign up to Zonr for Today’s Full SFZ
TOLERANCE MAKES US MORE USEFUL TO OTHERS – “Most of us sense that real tolerance of other people’s shortcomings and viewpoints and a respect for their opinions are attitudes which make us more useful to others..” (The Big Book, pp.19-20 on self-obsession)
WE DON’T HEAL ALONE – “Our self-obsession blinded us to this, making us feel unique. Suddenly we understand that other people, too, have painful problems and that ours are no more significant than anyone else. Healing can take place when we see a glimpse of ourselves in the eyes of another.”(It Works, How & Why, p. 39)
Island in the Sun – Weezer (3:19)
How have your interactions with others made a profound impact on your recovery/journey, lately?
The Selfish Man :
Once upon a time, there was a selfish man. He liked everything to be his own. He could not share his belongings with anyone, not even his friends or the poor.
One day, the man lost thirty gold coins. He went to his friend’s house and told him how he lost his gold coins. His friend was a kind man.
As his friend’s daughter was coming from an errand she found thirty gold coins. When she arrived home, she told her father what she had found. The girl’s father told her that the gold coins belong to his friend and he sent for him. When the selfish man arrived, he told him how his daughter had found his thirty gold coins and handed then to him.
After counting the gold coins the man said that ten of them was missing and had been taken by the girl as he had forty gold coins. He further commented that he will recover the remaining amount from him. But the girl’s father refused.
The man left the gold coins and went to the court and informed the judge there about what had taken place between him and the girl’s father.
…
The judge sent for the girl and her father and when they arrived asked the girl how many gold coins did she find. She replied thirty gold coins. The Judge asked the selfish man how many gold coins did he lose and he answered forty gold coins.
The judge then told the man that the gold coins did not belong to him because the girl found thirty and not forty as he claimed to have lost and then told the girl to take the gold coins and that if anybody is looking for them he will send for the girl.
The judge told the man that if anybody reports that they have found forty gold coins he will send for him. It was then that the man confessed that he lied and that he lost thirty gold coins but the judge did not listen to him.
This story teaches us that excessive greed often backfires in one’s face. (http://www.english-for-students.com/the-selfish-man.html)
I am part of a bigger picture. Im not unique just another human being with problems and the need to grow up and deal with life. The spirit of the universe makes that possible for me everyday in order to not drink or use or obsesse. I have to constantly watch how i can be helpful to those around me and not wrong anyone else. Which is incredibly hard when im a selfish self-centered prick but God makes that possible for me when i allow Him.
I really like the line from the BB,
“Our very lives … depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs.”
The NA quote implies that “healing” or recovery comes from identifying with others but the BB makes it super clear that we won’t survive unless we drop our self-centeredness and are “constant” in our consideration of others.
And do what we can can to help them.