“Just pray for a tough hide and a tender heart.”
– Ruth Graham (1920 – 2007) U.S. author and wife of Rev. Billy Graham on new lessons
Lessons in Love – Level 42 (4:10)
Ganesha Healing Mantra for Love – (9:34)
In what ways do you feel praying for others, or being more useful to others, can be useful lessons in becoming a more loving person?
The Lesson
By Toni Cade Bambara
Back in the days when everyone was old and stupid or young and foolish and me and
Sugar were the only ones just right, this lade moved on our block with nappy hair and
proper speech and no makeup. And quite naturally we laughed at her, laughed the way
we did at the junk man who went about his business like he was some big-time president
and his sorry-ass horse his secretary. And we kinda hated her too, hated the way we did
the winos who cluttered up our parks and pissed on our handball walls and stank up our
hallways and stairs so you couldn’t halfway play hide-and-seek without a goddamn gas
mask. Miss Moore was her name. The only woman on the block with no first name.
___
And she was black as hell, cept for her feet, which were fish-white and spooky. And she
was always planning these boring-ass things for us to do, us being my cousin, mostly,
who lived on the block cause we all moved North the same time and to the same
apartment then spread out gradual to breathe. And our parents would yank our heads into
some kinda shape and crisp up our clothes so we’d be presentable for travel with Miss
Moore, who always looked like she was going to church, though she never did. Which is
just one of the things the grown-ups talked about when they talked behind her back like a
dog.
___
But when she came calling with some sachet she’d sewed up or some gingerbread
she’d made or some book, why then they’d all be too embarrassed to turn her down and
we’d get handed over all spruced up. She’d been to college and said it was only right that
she should take responsibility for the young ones’ education, and she not even related by
marriage or blood. So they’d go for it. Specially Aunt Gretchen. She was the main
gofer in the family. You got some ole dumb shit foolishness you want somebody to go
for, you send for Aunt Gretchen. She been screwed into the go-along for so long, it’s a
blood-deep natural thing with her. Which is now she got saddled with me and Sugar and
Junior in the first place while our mothers were in a la-de-da apartment up the block
having a good ole time.
I think the issue is rather one of why are we being helpful to others. I find for myself that if I am genuinely interested in helping others, then there is no issue with being more loving. When I “help” to satisfy my own needs, then that is a different issue….(5)
I still have not gotten used to praying for others but I do try and remember to pray to be of the greatest service especially when embarking on unfamiliar territory. (8mins)
Thats always been a problem with me. Taking
things personally its caused a lot of problems
in the past due to hurt feelings then lashing
out as a result. I thi k pausing and praying
Is a solution.
“…a tough hide and a tender heart.” Kind of like the first two of the four agreements: 1) Be impeccable to your word, and 2) Don’t take anything personally.” I get to practice this at work when those with whom I no longer gossip are showing an icy disapproval. I greet them with love and treat them as tenderly as I can. I am no better nor any worse than they. We are all just acting out our human-ness and our spirituality to the best of our abilities. Thank you, Higher Power for helping me no longer to gossip. Thank you, Higher Power for helping me not to take anything personally.