Why the “Worst” People, Places & Things that make Us So Darn Mad – Step 4

Cartoon man literally painting himself into a corner w/ sfz title

Written by

in

,

“People and things do not upset us, rather we upset ourselves by believing that they can upset us.” – Albert Ellis (1913 – 2007) U.S. psychologist on resentments

Sign up to get Zonr for Today’s Full SFZ

~~~

What resentments do you hold over people, places, or things lately?

OR

Can you think of a time when your own thoughts made a bad situation worse?

~~~

A Few of My Favorite Things – Julie Andrews (2:34)

Get Happy in 5 minutes (4:30)

Happiness Hypnosis Hz Meditation (9:29)



Analysis: Illuminating the Fog

Resentment acts as a heavy veil. It Works: How and Why invites us to list our grievances. We examine people, places, and situations. We also identify our own involvement in these conflicts. This process exposes the true sources of our anger.

Fear often haunts these dark places. Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions calls these ghosts bogeymen. A thorough inventory clears the internal fog. We welcome a wonderful, healing light. A Higher Power guides this deep reflection.

Albert Ellis offers a vital perspective. He asserts that we upset ourselves through our own beliefs. Events remain neutral until we color them with judgment. We hold the power to change these reactions (Ellis, 1962). Wellbriety teachings support this path of truth. “We must release our past to walk in the light” (White Bison, 2002, p. 88). This release brings genuine peace. Honesty clears the path for lasting growth.

References

Ellis, A. (1962). Reason and Emotion in Psychotherapy. Lyle Stuart.

White Bison. (2002). The Red Road to Wellbriety. White Bison, Inc.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Traducción al Español

Citas, Títulos y Referencias

POR QUÉ LAS “PEORES” PERSONAS, LUGARES Y COSAS QUE NOS HACEN TAN ENOJADOS – PASO 4

LOS VALORES Y SITUACIONES TAMBIÉN PUEDEN EXPONER RESENTIMIENTOS –

“Hacemos una lista de las personas, lugares, valores sociales, instituciones y situaciones contra las que sentimos ira. Examinamos no solo las circunstancias que rodean estos resentimientos, sino que observamos la parte que desempeñamos en ellos.” (Funciona: Cómo y Por Qué, p. 30)

AHUYENTANDO AL HOMBRE DEL SACO –

“…el testimonio de los A.A. que realmente han intentado hacer un inventario moral es que este tipo de miedo y autosuficiencia resultan ser hombres del saco, nada más. Una vez que tenemos una completa disposición a hacer el inventario, y nos esforzamos por hacer el trabajo a fondo, una luz maravillosa cae sobre esta escena nublada.” (12 y 12, p. 49)

ALBERT ELLIS –

“Las personas y las cosas no nos molestan, sino que nosotros mismos nos molestamos al creer que pueden molestarnos.”

Albert Ellis (1913 – 2007)

Análisis

El resentimiento actúa como un velo pesado. Funciona: Cómo y Por Qué nos invita a enumerar nuestros agravios. Examinamos personas, lugares y situaciones. También identificamos nuestra propia participación en estos conflictos. Este proceso expone las verdaderas fuentes de nuestra ira.

El miedo a menudo acecha en estos lugares oscuros. Doce Pasos y Doce Tradiciones llama a estos fantasmas hombres del saco. Un inventario exhaustivo aclara la niebla interna. Damos la bienvenida a una luz maravillosa y sanadora. Un Poder Superior guía esta profunda reflexión.

Albert Ellis ofrece una perspectiva vital. Afirma que nos molestamos a nosotros mismos a través de nuestras propias creencias. Los eventos permanecen neutrales hasta que los teñimos con nuestro juicio. Tenemos el poder de cambiar estas reacciones (Ellis, 1962). Las enseñanzas de Wellbriety apoyan este camino de verdad. “Debemos soltar nuestro pasado para caminar en la luz” (White Bison, 2002, p. 88). Esta liberación trae paz genuina. La honestidad despeja el camino para un crecimiento duradero.

Pregunta Concluyente

¿Puedes pensar en un momento en el que tus propios pensamientos empeoraron una mala situación?

Mobile Recovery, spiritual solutions you can count on!

Zonr logo on the term: resentment

Comments

12 responses to “Why the “Worst” People, Places & Things that make Us So Darn Mad – Step 4”

  1. Sabrina J Avatar
    Sabrina J

    My resentments are focused on what I see as injustice toward people.

  2. E-Dawg Avatar
    E-Dawg

    In AA resentments are considered the number one offender… they keep you trapped in the emotional turmoil that they once used alcohol to escape…

  3. Elexi W.S.A. Avatar

    The resentments I hold over people, places, and things are that they’re so darn tempting to escape to, to run from burdens, pain, or to have a good time. Getting older has really been on my mind lately, and wanting to go back to work. To be able to be productive like I want to, I’m really having to learn to deal with some pain, and find supplements, also make wise physical and mental decisions, so that I don’t panic, or worry too much – this to a degree no matter what.

  4. Ari L Avatar
    Ari L

    I have issues just staying in my room all the time, and have developed a subtle resentment there. I work from home, and I have a lot im doing at home beside that. Trying to develop a better relationship with my own space

  5. Eli???? Avatar
    Eli????

    Anger isn’t a bad emotion, just an indicator of internal and external statuses. It isn’t unhealthy to feel, but is unhealthy to avoid. Resentment and anger are two different things- though anger can lead to resentment Acknowledging anger and working with it is more productive for me than ignoring it in the first place, or suppressing it because it’s ‘bad’.

  6. E-Dawg Avatar
    E-Dawg

    First I would pinpoint the fear then after recognizing it I would figure out the root cause. Fear stands for two different things….F.E.A.R…
    Forget everything and run or.
    Face everything and recover
    However, the word forget is usually replaced by another word…

  7. Sabrina J Avatar
    Sabrina J

    I laughed while thinking about this question today as my resentments have been about institutions that are slow to honor their obligations. I laughed as the reflection turned inward and know that while in my addiction, I too was slow to honor obligations.

    Some time ago I realized that everything mirrors. And when I experience something that causes me to be upset, the truth is that it is because I experience something with myself that I am not happy with.

    There have been long durations of time when I have been very healthy in mind, body and spirit. During those times, and in the ones to come, there is a peace that is unflappable. So when I am given the opportunity to have a resentment, I know that there is still work to be done.

    Thank you for the opportunity to grow. I am grateful.

  8. daniel mosqueda Avatar
    daniel mosqueda

    what upsets me about people that they forget how you was there in there need wether it was money food loan or a ear to listen to them whenever and they cant see there wrong in nothing but yours even you might not even have a part in it they still find u at fault

  9. Adam Avatar
    Adam

    I’m upset I didn’t get the house I was hoping for so I find myself obsessing over it. Angry at my agent for not helping me make the right offer. I just keep reminding myself I have a home now which many don’t have. And to even be able to buy a home is a blessing. Not sure the sting will go away until find another. And then I’m annoyed by every person I run into saying, “well, it just wasn’t meant to be.” Thanks for trying to be helpful. Oh well, I’ll get over it.

  10. Margot E. Avatar
    Margot E.

    Sometimes I sit in a meeting and feel a giant resentment growing in me. I am learning to just sit with y feelings and know them to be the pretenders they are. They reveal my fear to me. They reveal my own insecurities – my own feelings of being unloved and unlovable. I sometimes go so far as to remember that I have a loving Higher Power and that at all points in time I am exactly where I am supposed to be. When I can put my fear aside, I get to see my own harsh judgment of myself.

  11. brita Avatar
    brita

    Only from being in AA can I now appreciate the happiness and lightness of the Julie Andrews song. I had to sing it for my first voice class at 13 years old – I was so sad then 🙁 Great song!

    1. Jb jr. Avatar
      Jb jr.

      I was hoping someone would comment on that song. I also like how the video visually plays along with the song. It makes me happy. Demonstrating gratitude for our “favorite things” in song is a lovely way to pick up our mood.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.