The Test of True Friendships may Surprise You- Step 12

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ON FRIENDSHIPS AND REACHING OUT – “Recovery becomes a contact process; we lose the fear of touching and of being touched.  We learn that a simple, loving hug can make all the difference in the world when we feel alone. We experience real love and real friendship.” (The Basic Text, p. 91)

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When have you reached out to help or hug a good friend lately?

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OR

How can you be a better friend to someone who is having a hard day?

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Snow (Hey, oh) – Red Hot Chili Peppers (5:50)  

The Friendship Song – I Love Lucy (2:03)

Shakespeare’s England Finding Stillness Meditation (10:12)

Analysis: Walking Each Other Home

Avoid the “spiritual hilltop” when helping others. Talk as equals to build trust. The Big Book suggests sharing tools, not giving lectures. This approach humbles the helper and honors the seeker. We find common ground in our shared struggles. Such a connection reflects the guidance of a Great Spirit.

The Basic Text emphasizes physical and emotional contact. Recovery removes the cold walls of isolation. A simple hug provides immense comfort to the lonely soul. We discover authentic love through these small, brave gestures. Ram Dass famously noted that we are simply “walking each other home” (Dass, 1971, p. 12). This perspective destroys the ego’s desire for superiority.

True friendship divides the heavy burden of pain. Wellbriety teachings mirror the ancient Roman wisdom of Cicero. We must heal within a circle of supportive relatives. “The community is the medicine” (White Bison, 2002, p. 34). Our Higher Power works through these human connections. These bonds transform individual suffering into collective strength. We survive adversity by leaning on each other’s shoulders.

References Dass, R. (1971). Be here now. Lama Foundation. White Bison. (2002). The red road to wellbriety. White Bison, Inc.

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Traducción al Español

Citas, Títulos y Referencias

LA PRUEBA DE LAS VERDADERAS AMISTADES PUEDE SORPRENDERTE – PASO 12

SÉ REAL –

“Nunca hables con condescendencia a un alcohólico [o a una persona con fallas] desde ninguna colina moral o espiritual; simplemente presenta el kit de herramientas espirituales para su inspección. Muéstrale cómo te funcionaron a ti. Ofrécele amistad y compañerismo. Dile que si quiere recuperarse, harás cualquier cosa para ayudarlo.” (El Libro Grande, p. 95)

Y EXTIENDE TU MANO –

“La recuperación se convierte en un proceso de contacto; perdemos el miedo a tocar y ser tocados. Aprendemos que un simple y amoroso abrazo puede marcar toda la diferencia del mundo cuando nos sentimos solos. Experimentamos el amor real y la amistad real.” (El Texto Básico, p. 91)

FRAGMENTO DE CICERÓN –

“La amistad hace que la prosperidad sea más brillante y aminora la adversidad al dividirla y compartirla.” — Cicerón (106 a.C. – 43 a.C.)


Análisis

Evita la “colina espiritual” al ayudar a los demás. Habla como igual para generar confianza. El Libro Grande sugiere compartir herramientas, no dar lecciones. Este enfoque humilla al que ayuda y honra al que busca. Encontramos un terreno común en nuestras luchas compartidas. Tal conexión refleja la guía de un Gran Espíritu.

El Texto Básico enfatiza el contacto físico y emocional. La recuperación elimina los fríos muros del aislamiento. Un simple abrazo brinda un inmenso consuelo al alma solitaria. Descubrimos el amor auténtico a través de estos pequeños y valientes gestos. Ram Dass señaló famosamente que simplemente nos estamos “acompañando unos a otros a casa” (Dass, 1971, p. 12). Esta perspectiva destruye el deseo de superioridad del ego.

La verdadera amistad divide la pesada carga del dolor. Las enseñanzas de Wellbriety reflejan la antigua sabiduría romana de Cicerón. Debemos sanar dentro de un círculo de parientes que nos apoyen. “La comunidad es la medicina” (White Bison, 2002, p. 34). Nuestro Poder Superior trabaja a través de estas conexiones humanas. Estos vínculos transforman el sufrimiento individual en fuerza colectiva. Sobrevivimos a la adversidad apoyándonos en los hombros de los demás.


Pregunta Concluyente

¿Cómo puedes ser un mejor amigo para alguien que está pasando por un mal día?

Zonr logo on friendship

Comments

11 responses to “The Test of True Friendships may Surprise You- Step 12”

  1. Eli???????????????????? Avatar
    Eli????????????????????

    Recently I ran into someone I needed to make amends to in a meeting. I was surprised to find out that he’s moved on, but needs help with other things.

  2. VLeigh Avatar
    VLeigh

    Just today, I had a friend who I hadn’t spoken to in a minute contact me in a pre-lapse mindset. He had just lost his job and broken off his relationship, and he essentially needed someone to talk him out of it. I made time in my evening to have a long heart to heart with him on the phone – I let him know that even though we don’t speak all the time, he can always feel safe to call me. I have a hard time sometimes picking up the phone, but I’ve learned that I just need to answer the call, because you never know what someone is struggling with. By simply getting in the habit of being available (with boundaries) makes me feel like I am working towards being a better friend.

  3. mink Avatar
    mink

    I did hug a friend today. My friend and coworker just got back from her trip to japan so we got to hang out at work, she got me a couple of presents that were really thoughtful!

  4. E-Dawg Avatar
    E-Dawg

    It’s not my job to try to immediately fix anybody’s problem, instead just to be there and listen, be an ear, Proverbs 17:27 encourages me to be quick to listen and slow to speakI

  5. E-Dawg Avatar
    E-Dawg

    It’s not my job to try to immediately fix anybody’s problem, instead just to be there and listen, be an ear, Proverbs 17:27 encourages me to be quick to listen and slow to speak

  6. Sabrina J Avatar
    Sabrina J

    A good hug can change the world for a person, for me. That act of physical touch in times when the world can feel cold and isolating. We all need connection. Especially early in recovery where we can be filled with many emotions centered around unworthiness, the simple act of the hug can chip away at the ice wall we may have built.

    Thank you for sharing recovery with me. Grateful.

  7. Jon G. Avatar
    Jon G.

    I have been consistently impressed by others’ willingness to give of their time to assist me when I need it and am able to reach out and ask for help. Particularly, my sponsor has always been there for me when I needed him. I try and pay this forward by being of assistance to others in the program when I am asked and able to do so.

  8. Slim Jim Avatar
    Slim Jim

    I’ve reached out recently but it seems not all attempts are warmly received.

  9. Br. Buddha Avatar
    Br. Buddha

    Good morning everyone + Happy Saturday. Friendship. In my new life in Sobriety, I have made real + long term friends. My friends use to be fair weather friends who showed their desire for me, just as long as I bought the drinks + supplied the drugs. Not anymore. I can count on my friends to be there for me cause they can count on me to be there for them. Let’s be friends. Blessings. BB

  10. Slim Jim Avatar
    Slim Jim

    One of my favorite I Love Lucy episodes is when Ethel and Lucy sing the friendship song … http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbo4OYSLTdI

    Its so adorable.

  11. easy does it Avatar
    easy does it

    A Beatles song comes to mind.. I get by with a little help from my friends.. no man is an island and i certainly thank God for the friends i have today

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