“Holding onto Anger is like Grasping onto a Hot Coal … ” – Step 4

Guy trying to hold a burning hot coal w/ sfz title

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“Holding onto
anger is like grasp-
ing onto a hot coal
with the intent of throw-
ing it at someone else.
You are the one who
gets burned.”

– Gautama Buddha (563-483 B.C.) Hindu Prince and founder of Buddhism

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While reflecting on your own fourth step discoveries, what triggers your temper to rise, lately?

OR

Have you ever stayed mad at someone and realized it only hurt you?

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Mad – Ne Yo (4:40)

The Angry-Eating Demon (4:22)

Releasing-Anger: A Brahma Guided Meditation (4:00)

Analysis: The Fire Within

Anger burns the hand that holds it. The Big Book exposes the roots of our deep resentment. Threatened ambitions and wounded relationships ignite this inner fire. We get burned by our own fierce reactions. Unchecked fury damages our fragile spirits.

Deep introspection reveals our hidden patterns. It Works: How and Why guides this courageous inventory. We examine our exact part in every conflict. Gautama Buddha warned against clutching hot coals of rage. Buddha taught that hatred hurts only the bearer (Buddha, n.d.). A Higher Power grants grace to release this pain.

Wellbriety teachings echo this vital message of release. “We must let go of anger to find peace” (White Bison, 2002, p. 88). Thich Nhat Hanh similarly championed mindful compassion (Hanh, 1991). He believed inner calm extinguishes burning resentment. Forgiving others heals our own wounded hearts. Freedom arrives when we drop the heavy coals.

References

Buddha. (n.d.). The Dhammapada (F. Max Müller, Trans.). Oxford University Press. (Original work published c. 3rd-4th century BCE).

Hanh, T. N. (1991). Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life. Bantam Books.

White Bison. (2002). The Red Road to Wellbriety. White Bison, Inc.

Traducción al Español

Citas, Títulos y Referencias

“GUARDAR RENCOR ES COMO AGARRAR UN CARBÓN ARDIENTE…” – PASO 4

¿TE SIENTES MENOSPRECIADO? –

“Nos preguntamos por qué estábamos enojados. En la mayor parte de los casos se descubrió que nuestra autoestima, nuestros bolsillos, nuestras ambiciones, nuestras relaciones personales (incluyendo el sexo) estaban heridas o amenazadas. Así que estábamos adoloridos. Estábamos ‘quemados’.” (El Libro Grande, p. 26)

SOLO UNA HERIDA LEVE –

“Examinamos no solo las circunstancias que rodean estos resentimientos, sino que miramos la parte que desempeñamos en ellos. ¿Qué había en nosotros tan amenazado que experimentamos un tormento emocional tan profundo? A menudo, veremos que las mismas áreas de nuestras vidas se vieron afectadas una y otra vez.” (Funciona: Cómo y Por Qué, p. 30)

BUDA –

“Guardar rencor es como agarrar un carbón ardiente con la intención de tirárselo a otra persona. Tú eres el que se quema.”

Gautama Buddha (563-483 a. C.)

Análisis

La ira quema la mano que la sostiene. El Libro Grande expone las raíces de nuestro profundo resentimiento. Las ambiciones amenazadas y las relaciones heridas encienden este fuego interior. Nos quemamos con nuestras propias reacciones feroces. La furia descontrolada daña nuestros espíritus frágiles.

La introspección profunda revela nuestros patrones ocultos. Funciona: Cómo y Por Qué guía este inventario valiente. Examinamos nuestra parte exacta en cada conflicto. Gautama Buddha advirtió contra aferrarse a carbones ardientes de rabia. Buda enseñó que el odio solo lastima al portador (Buddha, n.d.). Un Poder Superior concede gracia para liberar este dolor.

Las enseñanzas de Wellbriety hacen eco de este mensaje vital de liberación. “Debemos dejar ir la ira para encontrar la paz” (White Bison, 2002, p. 88). Thich Nhat Hanh también defendió la compasión consciente (Hanh, 1991). Él creía que la calma interior extingue el resentimiento ardiente. Perdonar a los demás sana nuestros propios corazones heridos. La libertad llega cuando soltamos los carbones pesados.

Pregunta Concluyente

¿Alguna vez te has enojado con alguien y te has dado cuenta de que solo te lastimaba a ti?

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Comments

11 responses to ““Holding onto Anger is like Grasping onto a Hot Coal … ” – Step 4”

  1. Mink Avatar
    Mink

    Yes, there’s definitely times where I stay mad at people. Being angry at people I don’t talk to anymore only hurts me

  2. Sabrina J Avatar
    Sabrina J

    Holding on to anger or resentment hurts me and my recovery. I have learned to put the rock down and let go of anger and pain.

  3. E-Dawg Avatar
    E-Dawg

    What triggers anger in congregant living more than anything is when someone doesn’t carry their own weight forcing others to work harder to get things done… I’ve heard that laziness leads to poverty….

  4. Elexi W.S.A. Avatar

    People having what I deem sick in nature, or having attitudes can really make me snap, where it could reach cursing. I liked the monster tale though, because that means I can make that upset monster disappear from around me, and live a more joyous free from temper life.

  5. Eli???????????????????? Avatar
    Eli????????????????????

    The grouch and the brainstorm are dubious luxuries we cannot afford. I can’t afford resentment- it leads to drinking. Knowing that is not the same as letting go of the resentment. The fourth step interacts with systemic issues in an interesting way- the big book is used by much more than its original audience. AA looks nothing like the oxford group today. But resentment, in the first place, doesn’t serve

  6. Tony O. Avatar
    Tony O.

    Its a nature feeling. Letting it control is another thing. Learning to cope can be difficult but time will tell.

  7. Simon Yebio Avatar
    Simon Yebio

    When someone is being human, ala looking at a situation only from there point of view and not considering mine. I know that I love communicate either too much or nothing at all. I’m still learning how to find a middle ground

  8. Bohdi Baba Avatar

    Injustice. Pure and simple. The problem becomes when I take things personally. So I prefer to think of anger as not part of “my true nature” and not succumb to it without conscious deliberation.

  9. Margot E. Avatar
    Margot E.

    Well, IMHE (in my humble experience), I am the only one who can make me angry. It is my interpretation of what someone did or said (or, God help us, didn’t say…) that makes me angry. People are usually in their own world doing whatever they are able to do at the moment. I check my own values and beliefs about an event and can see whether I am coming from fear or from love. If it is fear (anger), I get to look at what made me feel threatened, vulnerable or unworthy. I learn more about myself. I can figure out what I need. I can communicate that need. I have power – over my own life. Namaste.

  10. JB jr. Avatar
    JB jr.

    What I really can’t stand is what anger does to me. It takes waaaaay too much space in my head. And it also ends up leaving horrible scars. Not pretty at all.

  11. raretruthseeker Avatar
    raretruthseeker

    This is perfectly in line with the Law of Attraction. What we focus on is what we get more of. The imagery here of getting burned is powerful. And in order to release it, we have to focus on it’s opposite, which is love. We release the person to their own karmic journey, but more importantly, we release ourselves back to ours.

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