Some Precautions When Sharing, ‘The Secrets that Dare Not Speak their Name’ – Step 5

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“Certain distressing or humiliating memories, we tell ourselves, ought not be shared with anyone. These will remain our secret.” “We hope they’ll go to the grave with us. Yet if [our program’s] experience means anything at all, this is not only unwise, but is actually a perilous resolve.” (12 & 12, p. 56 on keeping secrets)

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What does Gibran imply you should do when finding someone with whom to share your secrets?

What happens when the relief of sharing outweighs the fear of telling?

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Dirty Little Secret – All American Rejects (3:15)

A Gift from the Secret Scrolls Meditation (2:36)

Free Tibet Meditation (7:46)

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Comments

10 responses to “Some Precautions When Sharing, ‘The Secrets that Dare Not Speak their Name’ – Step 5”

August 17, 2026

E-Dawg

Freedom From The Bondage of self takes place when you share your story with a trusted individual such as your sponsor, therapist or clergyman… this process helps you forgive yourself and is a weight off your shoulders…

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August 17, 2026

Sabrina J

When I can put down the rock, my life is lighter and my soul heals.

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August 17, 2025

Elexi W.S.A.

From Gibran I take from that, that holding back too many secrets can cause fragility, although keeping some may be rewarding if it’s too private. I do get some relief from sharing some secrets, especially when I want to see where everyone’s morale is, and if I should be weary. Anonymity is important too, for someone who we confide in not to share our information with anyone else.

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August 17, 2025

Ari L

Finding a safe person to talk to is huge. But, I think it’s important to check with the person first if they “have the spoons for it”, as in if they have the emotional capacity to receive you. For both parties since it can also be a letdown not to be heard and boundaries broken when unloading without checking in first. Maybe they want to be heard as well.

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August 17, 2025

Eli????????????????????

Gibran, according to this post, said that secrets are fragile and inwardly harmful. Like holding a handful of glass. To share them is to build connection and heal.

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August 17, 2025

Sabrina J

This is a program of rigorous honesty. And when one lie comes in, the door is now open for others to fester and grow. When we share instead of hold back, the lies do not get a chance to grow, we open the door on them, show the world and move forward.

Thank you for sharing recovery with me. Grateful

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August 17, 2025

E-Dawg

Holding on to our Past would eventually sicken us and Keep us from taking part in our new way of life… if we are not honest when we take a fifth step we will have the same negative result that dishonesty brought us in the past

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August 21, 2018

Tony O.

I hate the felling of being forced to feel all over again. Id rather let the feeling go

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August 17, 2018

Simon Yebio

I’ve gone to the extreme both ways regarding secrets. Today I must be neutral in that no ‘secret’ I have should ever be difficult to share with someone in conversation. If it comes up then I dont fight it finishing me off. That is the ego that fights against it. The result usually involves helping someone else.

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August 12, 2012

Margot E.

It is just amazing to me that as I examine my own false pride, the shame associated with certain memories falls away. It’s like the scene in Back to the Future where one of the characters sees himself disappearing from a photograph, the memories lose shame, lose importance, lose their capacity to wring emotion from me. So much of my shame springs from not wanting to appear foolish or less than. I have to consciously discard false pride moment by moment, and, that allows me to be free. Namaste.

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