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“Should other Friendships be Forgot … ” – Step 4

“Aristotle considers friendships to be a necessity to live. He claims that no individual would choose to live without friends even if the individual had all of the other good things in life.” (anonymous author)

How have you strengthened your own friendships, lately?

 

The Friendship Skit – I Love Lucy (2:04) *

WHAT IS A FRIEND  (0:59) 

Into Africa Nature LP Meditation  (31:24)

 

 

Friendship

by Henry David Thoreau

I think awhile of Love, and while I think,

Love is to me a world,

Sole meat and sweetest drink,

And close connecting link

Tween heaven and earth.

I only know it is, not how or why,

My greatest happiness;

However hard I try,

Not if I were to die,

Can I explain.

 

I fain would ask my friend how it can be,

But when the time arrives,

Then Love is more lovely

Than anything to me,

And so I’m dumb.

For if the truth were known, Love cannot speak,

But only thinks and does;

Though surely out ’twill leak

Without the help of Greek,

Or any tongue.

 

A man may love the truth and practise it,

Beauty he may admire,

And goodness not omit,

As much as may befit

To reverence.

But only when these three together meet,

As they always incline,

And make one soul the seat,

And favorite retreat,

Of loveliness;

When under kindred shape, like loves and hates

And a kindred nature,

Proclaim us to be mates,

Exposed to equal fates

Eternally;

 

And each may other help, and service do,

Drawing Love’s bands more tight,

Service he ne’er shall rue

While one and one make two,

And two are one;

In such case only doth man fully prove

Fully as man can do,

What power there is in Love

His inmost soul to move

Resistlessly.

______

 

Two sturdy oaks I mean, which side by side,

Withstand the winter’s storm,

And spite of wind and tide,

Grow up the meadow’s pride,

For both are strong

Above they barely touch, but undermined

Down to their deepest source,

Admiring you shall find

Their roots are intertwined

Insep’rably.

 

Aristotle on Friendships

 

Friendship is undoubtedly one of the most important elements in the books of Aristotle’s ethical principles. Aristotle takes the idea of friendship to a serious degree. He categorizes them into three groups or types of friendships. This report will attempt to define each type of friendship as well as identify the role of friendship in a society.

Aristotle considers friendship to be a necessity to live. He claims that no individual would choose to live without friends even if the individual had all of the other good things in life. He also describes friendship as a virtue and as just. Given the above statements on friendship, it is safe to say that Aristotle felt that friendship is something that every human must have in order to reach a peaceful state of mind. It has all of the qualities of good as long as both parties of a friendship are considered good. Therefore, the role of friendship in a society is to promote goodness between all parties involved in it.

As previously mentioned, Aristotle has identified three different types of friendships. The first is friendship based on utility. This is a friendship in which both parties become involved with each other for their own personal benefit. An example would be a working relationship with an individual. These are people who do not spend much time together, possibly because they do not like each other, and therefore feel no need to associate with one another unless they are mutually useful. They take pleasure from each other’s company just for their own sake. Aristotle uses the elderly and foreigners as examples of friendships based on utility.

The second type of friendship is a friendship based on pleasure. This friendship is made between two people that wish to gain pleasure from one another. Aristotle uses the young as an example here. Friendships between the young are grounded on pleasure because the lives of the young are regulated by their feelings, and their main interest is in their own pleasure and the opportunity of the moment. They are quick to create and destroy friendships because their affection changes as fast as the things that please them do. Aristotle felt that this sort of pleasure changes rapidly. The young also have a tendency to fall in love, thus creating an erotic friendship which is swayed by the feelings and based on pleasure.

Finally, we have what is considered the by Aristotle as the perfect friendship. This is called the friendship based on goodness. This kind of friendship is between those that desire the good of their friends for their friend’s sake not their own. Each friend loves the other for what he is, not for a particular quality. This type of friendship can last as long as the friends remain good. The friendship just might last forever. Aristotle considers it a permanent friendship because in it are all of the attributes that friends ought to possess. This friendship differs than the others mentioned because all the parties involved have each other’s qualities. There is no need to use the other for pleasure or utility. They are in it for each other.

As you can see, Aristotle held friendship in high regard. He considered it something to better the society as well as the individual. His definitions of the types of friendships can make one relate to his or her own friends. One can try to determine the type of friendships that one may have or wish to have with his or her friends. It would certainly be a challenge in today’s day and age to find a friendship based on goodness. Perhaps it can be achieved.

(http://www.english-for-students.com/aristotle-on-friendship.html)

Zonr pod on Friendships

This Post Has 10 Comments

  1. Tony o

    It’s a skill that takes time to learn and practice. I hope to reciprocate as much as possible.

  2. Simon Yebio

    Perfect timing. I’ve been aware of personal relationships recently and have decided to make a priority to cultavate them. Loved the reading

  3. Bohdi Baba

    Keeping my friendships in ‘constant repair’ is vital. It’s also really rewarding. One thing I need to do is immediately be aware when I make mistakes and then swiftly make amends, which acts like an anti-bacterial ointment while the wound is fresh. It stings us both at first. But also clears away resentments before the ugly scabs start to set in.

  4. Br. Buddha

    Good morning everyone + happy Friday. Here is today’s thought. Relationships. Some are big + some are small, but all are important. We are meant to be in relationships + not to be loners. When we are in relationships, we share our talents + our needs + we draw forth from each other the best we have to offer + to share. God bless us in all our relationships. Blessings. BB

  5. Jon G.

    I would say that I do not depend on my friends enough. I either have difficulty asking for help and/or I do not want to burden or bother anyone. Often times I remind myself that I feel good when I help others and who am I to deny someone else the opportunity to feel good about themselves by being of service to me. Like so many other areas of my life I am probably being to self critical and compared to others I probably score pretty good in the “asking for help” department from others. I also need to remember that the only thing that most of my friends want in return for their help is my willingness to extend help to others when the time is right. I believe that is how this works and how it was intended–we pay it forward.

  6. Adam

    I focus on friendships where I feel equal with them. Meaning they depend on me as much as I them. Emotionally and otherwise. And invest a lot in my friendships so therefore have a lot of great ones. I quickly feel uncomfortable if I haven’t spent time with certain people in a while. Friendships take investment. I can’t say that any of my friendships are unhealthy in any way. All is good.

  7. Margot E.

    I was at the airport the other day waiting for the bus to take me back to Union Station. I watched as others hugged friends and family and were driven home by them. I realized in that moment that I have no friends and have chosen to live this life isolated. Contrary action led me to invite an acquaintance in program to have lunch this week. It felt scary asking, but it felt good when she accepted.

  8. Adam

    I have a lot of really great friendships but I realize overall that sometimes they are such that I don’t listen to them enough as I’m too self-absorbed. Something I need to work on. Nothing specific and recent comes to mind though.

  9. Jb jr.

    Working on friendships is something I keep neglecting. its so much easier for me to just isolate.;

  10. Margot E.

    Bill W. said this is a disease of relationships. I must take a sponsor and trust that individual when I have been unable to trust others in the past. I must share this program of recovery with others, become a sponsor when I have not trusted myself in the past. Steps 1, 2, and 3 have taught me I am not hopeless, I have a loving and caring Higher Power. If my Higher Power has not given up on me, then who am I to give up on myself?

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