“Deciding to live life on life’s terms is an endearing soul task. The immanent endearment reflects our acceptance of who we are while honoring the immensity of fate.” Paul Dunion, Huff Post Contributor Author and Psychological Healer
Everyday People – Arrested Development (8:35) at Sunset Junction -2009
Living Life on Life’s Terms (2:45)
Relax Zen Garden Buddhist Meditation (7:09)
Provide an example or two on how you cope with “life on life’s terms”, lately.
Deciding To Live Life On Life’s Terms
By Paul Dunion, Ed.D., LPC
“Deciding to live life on life’s terms is an endearing soul task. The immanent endearment reflects our acceptance of who we are while honoring the immensity of fate. A strengthening of our ability to be discerning and a deepening of our acceptance of all that is out of our control will need to be developed. There are several key focuses:
• Calling off the protest. Calling off the protest of the perilous nature of fate means becoming more accepting of fate’s insecurities and unpredictability.
• The willingness to continue developing an ability to discern what is in and out of our control. This is a life-long lesson. When the ego feels bold, it mistakenly decides it can control too much. When the ego is shy or fear-driven, the misjudgment is that little or nothing is in our control.
• Accepting how little is in our control. This calls for an evolving humility where we graciously learn to accept our limits. When grace guides our acceptance, we don’t see what is out of our control as simply unfortunate, but rather as an opportunity to be further informed by life.
• Becoming risk amenable. We don’t fear risks. We fear how we will treat ourselves if a risk we take has unfavorable consequences. Hence, in order to accept life’s terms of living our desire, we will need to learn to forgive ourselves when our actions do not generate the desired results.” (https://www.huffingtonpost.com/paul-dunion-edd-lpc/on-lifes-terms_b_10356298.html)
In regards to “living life on life’s terms” for me it gets down to not having control over the people, places, and things in my life. A character defect of mine is that I have a desire to be in control where I try to shape certain aspects of my life and when something does not go the way I intended I become discouraged and shut down. I have to constantly remind myself that my higher power will guide me in the right direction and I have to surrender. Something I continue to work on daily.
This can be hard. My instinct is to try and get around “life on life’s terms” moments rather than facing them and working through them directly. But I have to slow down and recognize these moments as opportunities for growth. That it’s OK to push myself outside my comfort zone. If needed I write down what the positive effects – often long term – that will result from really facing an issue. COVID19 has provided plenty of opportunities for facing uncomfortable life events, especially since I am furloughed from my job. But it’s allowed me to find new opportunities to connect with my family and via time for volunteer work, allowed me to find new communities to connect with. Given this is something I was sorely lacking before, this is of great benefit to me!