How to Tell When Being Right is Just Plain Wrong – Step 5

Cartoon stick person displaying an angel in one hand and a devil in the other

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From Jon G. – “I have been very judgmental of others lately. It has not served me well lately because it has enabled me to leave several meetings early. I sit and listen to a speaker and before long I judge …”

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How have your judgments of others or the feeling of being judged adversely affected you lately?

OR

When was a time you judged someone too fast instead of helping them?

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The Judgement is the Mirror – Dalis Car (4:36)

Funny Lessons in Judging Too Quickly (0:31) 

Slowing the Mind & Ending Judgement Meditation (8:03)

Analysis: The Gentle Light of Judgment

Harsh blame clouds our inner vision. The Basic Text urges us to clear our own path. We find no true growth by judging others. Fixing our own lives brings real peace. A Higher Power guides this inward shift. Self-examination replaces bitter condemnation.

Extreme opinions damage our relationships. Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions counsels a quiet, balanced view. We must avoid magnifying faults. Walt Whitman compared true insight to warm sunlight. Gentle warmth heals rather than destroys. We drop our harsh standards.

Wellbriety traditions echo this compassionate wisdom. “We walk softly without blaming our brothers” (White Bison, 2002, p. 104). Carl Rogers also championed unconditional acceptance (Rogers, 1961). He believed empathy unlocks human transformation. We choose understanding over criticism. Compassion lights our way forward.

References

Rogers, C. R. (1961). On Becoming a Person. Houghton Mifflin.

White Bison. (2002). The Red Road to Wellbriety. White Bison, Inc.

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Traducción al Español

Citas, Títulos y Referencias

CÓMO SABER CUÁNDO TENER LA RAZÓN ES SIMPLEMENTE ESTAR EQUIVOCADO – PASO 5

LIMPIANDO NUESTRO PROPIO LADO DE LA CALLE –

“No nos hará mejores personas juzgar las faltas de otro. Nos hará sentir mejor limpiar nuestras vidas…” (El Texto Básico, p. 37)

ES MEJOR TOMAR EL CARRIL DEL MEDIO –

“…evitemos los juicios extremos, tanto de nosotros mismos como de los demás involucrados. No debemos exagerar nuestros defectos ni los de ellos. Una visión tranquila y objetiva será nuestro objetivo constante.” (12 y 12, p. 82)

WALT WHITMAN –

“El poeta no juzga como juzga un juez, sino como el sol cayendo alrededor de algo indefenso.”

Walt Whitman (1819 – 1892)

Análisis

La culpa severa nubla nuestra visión interior. El Texto Básico nos insta a limpiar nuestro propio camino. No encontramos un crecimiento real juzgando a los demás. Arreglar nuestras propias vidas trae paz verdadera. Un Poder Superior guía este cambio interno. La autoexploración reemplaza la condena amarga.

Las opiniones extremas dañan nuestras relaciones. Doce Pasos y Doce Tradiciones aconseja una visión tranquila y equilibrada. Debemos evitar magnificar los defectos. Walt Whitman comparó la verdadera percepción con la luz cálida del sol. La calidez suave sana en lugar de destruir. Dejamos caer nuestros estándares severos.

Las tradiciones de Wellbriety se Hacen eco de esta sabiduría compasiva. “Caminamos suavemente sin culpar a nuestros hermanos” (White Bison, 2002, p. 104). Carl Rogers también defendió la aceptación incondicional (Rogers, 1961). Él creía que la empatía desbloquea la transformación humana. Elegimos la comprensión sobre la crítica. La compasión ilumina nuestro camino hacia adelante.

Pregunta Concluyente

¿Cuándo fue la última vez que juzgaste a alguien demasiado rápido en lugar de ayudarlo?

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Comments

11 responses to “How to Tell When Being Right is Just Plain Wrong – Step 5”

  1. E-Dawg Avatar
    E-Dawg

    Being judgmental is not cool…its forming a negative opinion about someone…. it means that you’re quick to find fault, criticize, or condemn others before knowing their full story…

  2. Sabrina J Avatar
    Sabrina J

    Anytime I have ever gone into judgement, instead of focusing on my side of the street, I have been wrong. To minimize regrets, my goal is to not judge.

  3. Sabrina J Avatar
    Sabrina J

    When I work on myself, stay out of judgement take consistent steps toward my best self, everything about me improves. I have, nor do I seek, any control over others, however I am completely responsible for and seek to improve myself and that is a life long journey.

    Thank you for sharing recovery with me. Grateful.

  4. E-Dawg Avatar
    E-Dawg

    I don’t judge anyone Lest I be judged…I always try to find something good in a person, then tell them ..it’s important to uplift people instead of judging them…

  5. Ari L Avatar
    Ari L

    I try to be accepting as I can be, but definately have a side of me that is quietly making judgements of people in superficial and meaningful ways faster than I can make sense of them like a sort of dull, humming glossolalia. I think what matters when in that habit, if change is desired, is responding to them instead of reacting to them. And, at least recognizing they are happening instead of pretending like they don’t happen.

  6. Damonte Avatar
    Damonte

    My judgement of others has effected me negatively throughout my life. I have sold myself short on friendships, dates, and any other type of relationships due to judgment on others. Due to proper programming i don’t have to judge anyone anymore and that relief and work of self love is most appreciated. If I love myself then i don’t have to give anything but love to others. The inside job that comes from the work of the steps helps keep me in a place of sanity and love for others and gratefulness, im taught to also keep my side of the street clean and not have to pass any judgement on anyone else. This is a daily reprieve.

  7. Tony O. Avatar
    Tony O.

    “Heretic” the earth is flat. Sometimes being right can get you killed. Sometimes its easier to catch flies with honey.

  8. Simon Yebio Avatar
    Simon Yebio

    When I feel a collage is focused on Me, I have overly judged they’re side. Great read this morning.

  9. Bohdi Baba Avatar

    I’m trying to learn Walt Whitman’s lesson. Because sometimes I am right. But I can come off as being judgemental when trying to make my point. I don’t think I come off as being a know-it-all all the time, but when making my case I could, try and spread … warm, gentle rays of sunlight on the situation.

  10. Jon G. Avatar
    Jon G.

    I have been very judgmental of others lately. It has not served me well lately because it has enabled me to leave several meetings early. I sit and listen to a speaker and before long I judge that they are not sharing about recovery or don’t have anything to say that is worthwhile to sit and listen to. Once I slip into this frame of mind it is only a matter of time before I convince myself that I don’t need to stay til the end of the meeting or that my time would be better spent somewhere else rather than staying and listening to the rest of their pitch.

  11. Adam Avatar
    Adam

    Judgement of others rarely serves me well except in the case of steering clear of people that appear to not be healthy to my own well-being. Some judgement is a protection mechanism. But it is judgement that is clearly beyond protection that just becomes hateful and self-destructive. Someone told me homes are being bought up by Chinese with cash so they are competing with me in my home search. Now when I see an Asian looking at home I’m interested in, anger starts to rise and I have to put that in check and realize these people may be American citizens looking for their own home.

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